Author Topic: Calling in to work excuses (Read 857 times)

Suave · « **on:** July 12, 2005, 04:51:08 PM »

I just called in to work, told 'em my water just broke.

What are your favorite excuses? Anything involving a black mamba gets extra points from me.

Sp4de · « **Reply #1 on:** July 12, 2005, 05:01:14 PM »

This is your boss speaking.
Your fired. That is all

Chairboy · « **Reply #2 on:** July 12, 2005, 05:09:27 PM »

Oblig bash quote:
#258908 +(7043)- [X]

: If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
: If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
: Where u work?
: I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

lasersailor184 · « **Reply #3 on:** July 12, 2005, 05:16:24 PM »

Oh man, that's great.

Suave · « **Reply #4 on:** July 12, 2005, 05:18:49 PM »

I'd have to call in every week for three months after having used up all my sick days before I would be asked to work for someone else.

Hangtime · « **Reply #5 on:** July 12, 2005, 05:24:10 PM »

I call in "well." Works like this:

"Guess what... I'm calling in 'well'. Yup. That's right.. 'well'. Why?? Because ever since you 'implemented' the pay cuts, chopped the vaction time and yanked the health insurance, I've felt like **** every day. Yep. Just turnin into the parking lot makes me ill. So anyway; Today's a real nice day & I happen to feel pretty good, so I'm not commin in so's youse can louse it up. No worries tho.. supposed to rain tomorrow; I'll be in then. Cya!"

*click*

cpxxx · « **Reply #6 on:** July 12, 2005, 05:39:30 PM »

'Hi boss, I can't make it in today because I have an interview with your commercial rival.'

'That's OK Cp, because I have an interview with them next week. Let me know how it goes'

It's great when the unit is closing down and you can leave any day with a five figure sum in your clammy hands.

What's not so great is that all your friends are leaving one by one and you find yourself sitting alone in the cafeteria remembering the good times and the laughs you had. End of an era.

G0ALY · « **Reply #7 on:** July 12, 2005, 06:31:21 PM »

The standard with me is, "I seem to be having eye problems."

and the reply from the supervisor usually is, "You can't see yourself comming to work today, can you."

".... Nah, not today."

BigGun · « **Reply #8 on:** July 12, 2005, 06:38:30 PM »

i wouldn't even think of it...such dishonesty:D

g00b · « **Reply #9 on:** July 12, 2005, 06:45:07 PM »

I'm so spoiled.

I say "I'm not coming in today"

They say "ok"

I say "I'm leaving early today"

They say "ok"

I say "I'm staying late today"

They say "ok"

It's tough I tell ya'

g00b

Maverick · « **Reply #10 on:** July 12, 2005, 07:13:25 PM »

Never had any problem going to work so never had to make an excuse. Of course now I don't have to call anyone and all my time is my own.

Retirement, it's a dirty job but somebody has to do it.

Torque · « **Reply #11 on:** July 12, 2005, 07:21:03 PM »

goob has it.

Gunslinger · « **Reply #12 on:** July 12, 2005, 08:16:20 PM »

Me: I can't come in
Boss: Why?

Me: Cause I got drunk last night and violated crew rest by not getting any. In addition I'm probably still over the legal limit to operate a moving vehicle not to mention the fact that I can't do explosive mait. for at least another 3 hours.

Boss: So basically you have the brown bottle flue and you are doing both of us a favor by you not coming in and trying to hide it and me not looking for were ever you are hiding all day long.

Me: Yup, basically.

Boss: Sounds good see ya tomorrow.

Me: If I'm sober and not hung over for luch you wanna meet up

Boss: Sure same place same time

Me: Later.

DREDIOCK · « **Reply #13 on:** July 12, 2005, 08:29:36 PM »

As I mentioned in another thread. "Bassitus"

Also the little known Americn indian disease "Lackawanna"

Mustaine · « **Reply #14 on:** July 12, 2005, 09:10:11 PM »

seriously .....

if you have an APT with a detached garage....

power went out on the garage, landloard is not answering, opener won't work so you can't get to the car....

can only use once / twice if you are VERY trustworthy (best if used after a heavy local storm)

morbid... (and wrong on my part)
friend (NOT close) died, but a family member, or relative was close, and you are concerned about them, take a day off to console the friend / relative. (i did not use, but could have because boss know's im a big softie)

local incapacitated relative needs help with something (car won't start, needs a ride to doctor that normal ride can't take them too, so on)

another weather related, after a big storm, lightning hit building (only good in APT) and landloard needs to come by to see what is bad (your immediate APT is OK, but not positive, electrical problems possible) BTW you have to call in EARLY about this, like 5 AM and leave voice mail

if your boss isn't the type to check insurance records... AND you work in a job that requires speaking.... you chipped a tooth in your sleep (honestly happened to a close friend) and need a cap today at the dentist (11:00 appointment best because of no bother to come in, and after wil eb all drugged up) some days later when seeing boss, eat some onions and garlic for lunch, then offer to show the great tooth work the dentist did

some of these require a mental memory of the event, to play on later, like "OW" tooth acting up while at lunch a few months later.

i'll have more later...

and yes i am the george costanza of lies