Author Topic: You know you're a redneck Jedi when...  (Read 301 times)

Offline Gunslinger

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You know you're a redneck Jedi when...
« on: July 14, 2005, 08:35:29 PM »
You hear, "Luke, I am your father... and your uncle..."

You ever said the phrase, "May the Force be with y'all."  that's the plural of you.....one could also use "you'uns".

Your Jedi robe is desert camouflage.

You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light or Abita Springs.

At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored with a NASCAR Rules sticker on the Bumper.

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok (A cross between Possum and Armadillo).

You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

Wookiees are offended by your B.O.

You have ever used the Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't
have to wait for a commercial.

You have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing or bowling or levitating a sandwich or sack of potato chips from the  kitchen to the couch.

You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock
thingy to get the barbecue grill to light up or have C3PO sit at your side during Jeopardy.

You ever fantasized about Princess Leia or Queen Amadallah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in
through the window and the Confederate  Flag is on top.

Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had
a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood
deck and a slow smoker cooker..

You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels shaken not stirred during the cantina scene.

Your father has ever said to you, "Why shucks, son, come on over to the
dark side...it'll be a hoot."  

You use the Force to make Jiffy Pop. (Editor's favorite--do they still make Jippy Pop...remember all those burned bags of JP?

You had to reinforce the CB antenna on your landspeeder to keep it from flying off...and the CB antennae is a  metal coat hanger.

The deflecting of a blaster pistol shot off your belt buckle (that reads "The South Will Rise Again"  saves your
life.
 
And, finally, There is something about Obywan Kenobe that reminds you of Robert E. Lee.

Offline lasersailor184

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You know you're a redneck Jedi when...
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2005, 09:41:35 PM »
May the force be with y'all.  :D
Punishr - N.D.M. Back in the air.
8.) Lasersailor 73 "Will lead the impending revolution from his keyboard"

Offline Pei

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You know you're a redneck Jedi when...
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2005, 10:10:49 PM »
You missed:

"You have Bantha horns mounted on the front of your landspeeder".

I haven't seen this one since about '99 and it seems to have changed a lot in the mean time. :)