Author Topic: Best comeback line ever  (Read 674 times)

Offline T0J0

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Best comeback line ever
« on: July 18, 2005, 03:42:31 PM »
This was in the Washington Post... the title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever." In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.

Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need. "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' "He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said,"

"A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?'"

Offline Saurdaukar

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Best comeback line ever
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2005, 04:45:01 PM »
:D

Offline Curval

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Best comeback line ever
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2005, 04:59:59 PM »
lol!!!:rofl
Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain that is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain

Offline Russian

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Best comeback line ever
« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2005, 05:34:24 PM »
...I don't get it....:confused:

Offline Curval

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« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2005, 05:39:30 PM »
Does the name Cinderella mean anything to you?
Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain that is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain

Offline Russian

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« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2005, 05:43:24 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Curval
Does the name Cinderella mean anything to you?


So humping a horse carriage is better then humping a pumpkin? :eek:

Offline Sixpence

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Best comeback line ever
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2005, 05:54:24 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Russian
So humping a horse carriage is better then humping a pumpkin? :eek:


lol, now that's a comeback
"My grandaddy always told me, "There are three things that'll put a good man down: Losin' a good woman, eatin' bad possum, or eatin' good possum."" - Holden McGroin

(and I still say he wasn't trying to spell possum!)

Offline vorticon

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« Reply #7 on: July 18, 2005, 06:11:17 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Russian
So humping a horse carriage is better then humping a pumpkin? :eek:


didnt the carriage come with a driver?

Offline RightF00T

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Best comeback line ever
« Reply #8 on: July 18, 2005, 06:18:35 PM »
Yes and the driver was a cat...:eek:

Offline Hawklore

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« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2005, 10:24:35 PM »
:lol :aok :lol
"So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart.
Trouble no one about their religion;
respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours.
Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life." - Chief Tecumseh

Offline Hangtime

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Best comeback line ever
« Reply #10 on: July 18, 2005, 10:25:25 PM »
now, that would really piss PETA off.
The price of Freedom is the willingness to do sudden battle, anywhere, any time and with utter recklessness...

...at home, or abroad.

Offline SunKing

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Best comeback line ever
« Reply #11 on: July 19, 2005, 02:04:28 AM »
not

"At least I got chicken?"

Offline Leslie

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Best comeback line ever
« Reply #12 on: July 19, 2005, 02:21:00 AM »
That sounds like big talk to me.

It just sounds big to you cause you're a midget.



Les :cool:

Offline Vulcan

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« Reply #13 on: July 19, 2005, 02:29:01 AM »
gul·li·ble    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (gl-bl)
adj.
Easily deceived or duped.


http://www.snopes.com/risque/caught/pumpkin.htm

Offline moose

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Best comeback line ever
« Reply #14 on: July 19, 2005, 04:59:33 AM »
sure this guys real name isnt neal patrick harris?
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