ugh...
A few weeks later, as spring is drawing on, Pa is talking to cousin Cletus, and the topic of what to do with the rapidly filling outhouse comes up.
Pa says, "Well, I tell you, I need to get this thing cleared out or nothin' else is gonna fit in 'ere."
"Well, " says Cletus, "I'll tell ya what ta do dere. Take yerself a stick 'e dyny-mite, and drop it in the hole. That dyny-mite'll blow, and the outhouse'll pop up in th' air, the contents will spread out, fertilizin' yer fields, and the outhouse'll come down kerplunkt on that there hole again, which would thereby then kill you two birds with one stone... as it were."
Pa gets to thinking that this isn't such a bad idea, so the next day he takes a stick of dynamite, lights it, drops it in the hole, and ducks behind the pig trough. Just then, Ma comes out the back of the house, and makes a beeline for the outhouse. Before Pa can shout a warning, in she goes. Well, the dynamite blows, the outhouse flies up in the air, the contents of the hole spread out over the fields, just like Cletus said it would, and the outhouse drops back onto the hole.
Moments later a rather messy and bedraggled Ma stumbles from the outhouse, as Pa runs over in a panic.
"Jumpin' jee-hosi-fats, Ma! Are ya allright?" he asks.
"I'm fine Pa," she replies, "But thank heavens I didn't do that in the house!"
groan.
