Author Topic: Goaly’s home repair… or… “Why the wife has 911 on speed dial.”  (Read 493 times)

Offline G0ALY

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RPM’s post, “Oh what a beautiful day.” Reminded me of some of my latest adventures. Several of which happened recently when I remodeled the house and added vinyl siding…

On of the first steps was to remove the old wooden gable vents from the ends of the house. It began with a nearly 300 pound man climbing twenty feet up a fiberglass ladder that was only rated for 225. I do not know if it was the fiberglass construction of the ladder that made it bounce with every movement, but I am certain that my girth combined with my shaky-kneed fear of heights accentuated the vibrations.

Reaching as far as I could with a 24-inch pry bar, I began to remove the wood around the vent. The vent was a first reluctant to release it’s grasp on the old house, so I was forced to lean into it. This brought more of the old goaly away from the ladder, so I used a combination of pushing on the pry bar and pulling myself back towards the ladder to break the wood free… and it did.

What happened next, happened quickly… I remember some of it; some has been pieced together from the injuries.

The part of the vent farthest away from me broke free. It appears to have pivoted on the nails attaching it to the house closest to me. In a great swinging motion, I came full against the ladder, followed by the wooden vent, which caught me right across the bridge of the nose.

At this point I dropped the pry bar, which fell to the ground cutting the garden hose on its way. This would prove to be fortuitous later.

It was at this time that I discovered a large hornets nest had been built inside the old wooden vent. It may have been part of what was holding the vent to the house, but now it was ripped wide open. These guys were all suddenly out for revenge, and a big bleeding man who has just been knocked senseless at the top of a ladder is a very easy target. At some point the vent broke free from the house and fell… Great, the hornets that had not immediately found me would now be waiting for me at ground level.

I start down the ladder. Time is of the essence, so I forgo the last three rungs and leap to the ground… Just as Murphy’s Law dictates that dropped toast lands butter side down… Dropped pieces of wood land nail side up… What happened next should come as no surprise.

The bottom of my shoe, and into the foot, was pierced by large nail. As I had mentioned, the pry bar had cut the garden hose, so at least the nail had been washed before my arrival.

While I did make my escape from the hornets at the bottom of the ladder, I was told it was quite a sight. Hopping on one foot, one hand holding my bleeding nose, the other waiving madly at the flying stinging monsters.

I can look back on it now and (almost) laugh.
« Last Edit: August 02, 2005, 12:54:53 PM by G0ALY »
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Offline AdmRose

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Goaly’s home repair… or… “Why the wife has 911 on speed dial.”
« Reply #1 on: August 02, 2005, 12:56:20 PM »
:rofl :rofl :rofl

Hey, at least the ladder didn't break :aok

Offline Nilsen

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Goaly’s home repair… or… “Why the wife has 911 on speed dial.”
« Reply #2 on: August 02, 2005, 12:57:03 PM »
mind if i laugh? :rofl

Sorry, but it is rather funny.



I dont have any really funny stories about home injuries. I usually have people that do those things for me.


One time tho.... at band camp..

Offline Toad

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Goaly’s home repair… or… “Why the wife has 911 on speed dial.”
« Reply #3 on: August 02, 2005, 01:12:21 PM »
Hope you're OK Goaly. It is a funny story; thanks for sharing.
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen!

Offline Hangtime

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Goaly’s home repair… or… “Why the wife has 911 on speed dial.”
« Reply #4 on: August 02, 2005, 01:34:46 PM »
LOL.. thanks for sharing. Tops my best one easily.. impaling my bellybutton with a 36" 1/4" aircraft drill bit when I fell bellybutton first onto my tool bag.

I plucked it outta my ass, examined it with a shocked expression, exclaimed 'Indians!' and fell face first onto the dock.

Hope yer feeling better.. and watch out for puncture wounds. Tuff to clean out (lordy.. the original impalement didn't hurt that much) and of course the tetnus booster..
The price of Freedom is the willingness to do sudden battle, anywhere, any time and with utter recklessness...

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Offline G0ALY

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Goaly’s home repair… or… “Why the wife has 911 on speed dial.”
« Reply #5 on: August 02, 2005, 01:48:59 PM »
Thanks for the good wishes.. all wounds have long since healed.
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storch

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Goaly’s home repair… or… “Why the wife has 911 on speed dial.”
« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2005, 05:20:00 PM »
:rofl  that's why I go to Poe's and rent chery pickers.  great story goaly.

Offline mietla

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Goaly’s home repair… or… “Why the wife has 911 on speed dial.”
« Reply #7 on: August 02, 2005, 08:25:53 PM »
Dear Sir

"I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks  left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them  in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached  to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate  up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor,  I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.  Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down  the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly.

The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.  

I hope this answers your inquiry."

Offline Hangtime

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Goaly’s home repair… or… “Why the wife has 911 on speed dial.”
« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2005, 08:39:22 PM »
ouch!
The price of Freedom is the willingness to do sudden battle, anywhere, any time and with utter recklessness...

...at home, or abroad.

Offline lazs2

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Goaly’s home repair… or… “Why the wife has 911 on speed dial.”
« Reply #9 on: August 03, 2005, 08:14:35 AM »
One of the fatties that works for me... opps..... One of the "hefty boys" that works for me broke a 225 lb rated ladder... I had to upgrade all the ladders for 300 lbs.  I am the only guy on the crew who weighs less than 225 and I don't climb no frigging ladders.

lazs

Offline Modas

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Goaly’s home repair… or… “Why the wife has 911 on speed dial.”
« Reply #10 on: August 03, 2005, 10:20:33 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Hangtime

I plucked it outta my ass, examined it with a shocked expression, exclaimed 'Indians!' and fell face first onto the dock.

 


LOL!!    Signature material for sure!!  :D

Offline Hawklore

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Goaly’s home repair… or… “Why the wife has 911 on speed dial.”
« Reply #11 on: August 03, 2005, 11:11:39 AM »
Self-Ownage at it's best..

:lol

Hope your foot don't get infected..
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Offline Krusher

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Goaly’s home repair… or… “Why the wife has 911 on speed dial.”
« Reply #12 on: August 03, 2005, 02:04:44 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by lazs2
One of the fatties that works for me... opps..... One of the "hefty boys" that works for me broke a 225 lb rated ladder... I had to upgrade all the ladders for 300 lbs.  I am the only guy on the crew who weighs less than 225 and I don't climb no frigging ladders.

lazs


When I was a kid and worked construction we had a brick layer that toped out at 400 +. He was so heavy he worked on one scaffold by himself and we used the Lull forklift to get him up and down.  He was also the fastest mason I have ever seen. Nobody put up a wall quicker.

Offline Nwbie

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Goaly’s home repair… or… “Why the wife has 911 on speed dial.”
« Reply #13 on: August 03, 2005, 10:30:13 PM »
LOL Goaly
You reminded me of when I was painting the side of my house, I was all the way up at the top of the ridge, two story colonial, I was too lazy to go all the way back down and was reaching out to my left, slowly the ladder started sliding ,so I quickly stood up straight and the momentum started the ladder to the right, so naturally I then leaned left, and naturally, the ladder slid left....you get the picture...after about 4 of these back and forth motions I tried to steady myself by holding my hand against the house, and for about ( seemed like 10 minutes) 2 seconds i was doing the John Belushi in Animal House impression of standing at the top of a 2 story ladder about 5 feet away from the house, I slammed back into the house, the laddder eventually quit shaking, I looked around wondering if any of the neighbors saw me... and climbed down the ladder... had a few beers and realized that those college kids who do painting during the summer could probably use the money more than the local hospital...lol

NwBie
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Offline Gunslinger

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Goaly’s home repair… or… “Why the wife has 911 on speed dial.”
« Reply #14 on: August 03, 2005, 10:40:55 PM »
ahhh fiberglass ladders.  I remember them well.  I was skinny when I installed wirless cable for a living but our new boss had a bug up his bellybutton about something to do with osha or whatever.  We upgraded all of our aluminum light weight ladders to fiberglass and the new ones weighed twice as much.  We stored the ladders on a ladder rack on top of the truck and getting them off there was a chore for a scrawney guy like me.  I broke an old lady's window the first day.

Unrelated I almost fell off the roof chasing after the contents of my tool bag.  All of my wrenches drill bits, crimps and zip ties were now rolling off the roof and silly me was chasing after them.