On Jan. 1, 2006 a so-called leap second will be added to bring the super accurate atomic clocks into sync with the Earth's rotation. The first time correction in seven years will be made as part of the global change needed because the Earth's rotation is relatively imprecise.
In a recent interview with several members of a world renowned academic forum called The O'Club, the ramifications of this event were discussed. Dr. Kweassa presented a 300 page dissertation on the latency catastrophe this could cause for players and recommended 48 various remedies to this impending doom.
Dr. beet1e of the British delegation presented a circuitous example and analogy that this potential disaster is not unlike Airbus vs. Boeing, since he had actually been to America. The Boeing representative, Mr. Ripsnort, replied by dumping 142 tons of dissertations written by others on the members.
The members waded to another room to continue the meeting, but were continually interrupted by the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, General Gunslinger, who shared his opinions about everything in the universe since the beginning of time. Commisar Dr. Boroda made a passionate plea that the name of the leap second should be the 'Kruschev Second' since the leap second was discovered, invented, created, manufactured, perfected and idealized by Soviet scientists as tribute to the success of communism in the USSR.
Dr. lasz presented his view that the leap second was yet another example of the 'nanny state' trying to control our lives and recommended that the committee arm themselves with assault weapons to fight off the city-dwelling hoardes who will probably riot when the leap second is implimented. Dr. Beet1e and his assistant, graduate student Mr. Skydancer, and Dr. Nash of the Save the Icebear Society countered that this was yet another example of the failed leadership of the current adminstration and American society at large, foisting this cultural leap second on the global community.
They were immediately escorted out of the room and beaten senseless by a Mr. Eagler and members of "The Commmitte to Change the Constitution and Re-Elect George Bush to Halt the Threat of Euros and Lefty Liberal Leap Seconds" who had surrounded the building carrying bullhorns, placards and America flags.
Commodore Nilsen asked that an emergency stockpile of alcoholic beverages be created to minimize the danger of any hiccup in the supply chain and offered to personally manage the program.
Dr. Toad requested that all footnotes and sources quoted in all the papers presented be collated, alphabetized and investigated. The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther StarofAfrica2 pleaded for the members to please just get along and Dr. Seagoon formed a candlelight vigil outside the facility and spoke for over 8 hours, giving biblical references about the danger of the leap second distracting the faithful from the true dangers of Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism, Sikhism, Catholicism, Judaism, Presbyterianism, Quakers, Latter Day Saints, Jevovah's Witnesses. Eastern Orthodoxy, Shintoism and games with church buildings.
The forum moderator, Dr. Fuzzy R. Skuzzy adjourned the meeting and did not answer reporters questions as he left the room shaking his head.
(The Rolex News Network)
