Thank you letter to Mr. Clinton for the time of service to
> this country!
>
> Dear Mr. President,
>
> I recently saw a bumper sticker that
> said, "Thank me, I voted for
> Clinton-Gore." So, I sat down and
> reflected on that and I am sending my
> "Thank you" for what you have done,
> specifically:
>
> 1. Thank you for introducing us to
> Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica
> Lewinsky, Dolly Kyle Browning,
> Kathleen Willey, and, of course,
> Juanita Broaddrick, who told NBC that
> you raped her. Are there any others
> that we should know about?
>
> 2. Thank you for teaching my
> 8-year-old about oral sex. I had
> really planned to wait until he was
> about 10 or so to discuss it with him,
> but now he knows more about it than I
> did as a senior in college. The cigar
> thing was also neat for the kids.
>
> 3. Thank you for showing us that
> sexual harassment in the work place
> (especially the White House) and on
> the job is OK, and all you have to
> know is what the meaning of "IS" is.
> It really is great to know that
> certain sexual acts are not sex and
> one person may have sex while the
> other one involved does NOT have sex.
> Monica said frequently while you were
> on the phone, she would work at one
> end, and you at the other. What
> productivity!
>
> 4. Thank you for reintroducing the
> concept of impeachment to a new
> generation and demonstrating that the
> ridiculous plot of the movie "Wag The
> Dog" could be plausible after all. The
> people of the Sudan, Afghanistan and
> Serbia are all running to rent the
> video, now that you made them part of
> the story.
>
> 5. Thanks for making Jimmy Carter look
> competent, Gerald Ford look graceful,
> Richard Nixon look honest, Lyndon
> Johnson look truthful, and John
> Kennedy look moral.
>
> 6. Thank you for the 72 House and
> Senate witnesses who have pleaded the
> 5th Amendment and 17 witnesses who
> have fled the country to avoid
> testifying about Democrat campaign
> fund raising.
>
> 7. Thank you for the 19 charges, 8
> convictions, and 4 imprisonments from
> the Whitewater "mess" and the 55
> criminal charges and 32 criminal
> convictions (so far) in the other
> "Clinton" scandals.
>
> 8. Thanks for remembering the families
> of many deceased people who once were
> your friends, who served you and died
> so young and suddenly: Vince Foster,
> Jerry Parks, Ron Brown, Admiral
> Boorda, Les Aspin, Barbara Alice
> Wiese, Mary Mahoney, Jim McDougal et
> al.
>
> 9. Thanks also for reducing our
> military by half, "gutting" much of
> our foreign policy, and for providing
> no real missile defense system for the
> American people. Thank you for sharing
> with our Chinese friends all of our
> nuclear weapon designs, the
> supercomputer technology to build such
> weapons, the ballistic missile
> technology so they can have more
> accurate missiles, and the encryption
> technology so they can keep it all
> secret too.
>
> 10. You are amazing visiting all those
> countries! Thank you for flying all
> over the world on "vacations"
> carefully disguised as necessary
> trips. It's wonderful, too, how you
> have surpassed every other president
> in the size of your entourage on these
> trips: 75 jumbo jets, 2000 guests to
> China alone. Your Africa entourage
> also was remarkable and it was nice of
> you to bring Betty Currie. She needed
> a break from testifying before the
> grand jury.
>
> Please give my regards to Hillary,
> when/if you see her. Tell her I'm
> working on a "Thank You" letter for
> her.
>
> Looking forward to January 2001,
>
> Average Joe
