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Author Topic: When the time comes are you prepared?  (Read 803 times)

Offline Jackal1

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« on: September 19, 2005, 01:47:04 PM »
Well it`s time to get a little problem out in the open before you, yourself are caught off guard in time of emergency.
  This subject is rarely, if ever discussed unless it is in secluded areas with someone you are absolutely sure you can trust. Even then, it is discussed in hushed, quiet, near conspiracy tones. It has or will effect all of us at one time or another and I think we should be prepared for the event.

  OK, here`s the scenario.
It`s early morning and you have gotten up to have a little quiet and relaxing time to yourself. You make a pot of Joe, grab a cup, fire up Ole Sniff And Snort to cruise the BBS. Somewhere, usualy around the second cup, you get the feeling and know the time is near. You start feeling the laxative effects of coffee. You are pretty sure you can hold off till you get that "one more reply" in that just has to be done.
  By this time warning bells are going off. Sirens are wailing in your head and you make THE DASH.
   Here is where the big problem starts. You discover that.... Charmin has left the building. You realize in a flash what the one item was you forgot on the list at your last trip to the store.
  What do you do? Are you prepared for such an emergency?
  This has been an ongoing problem ever since Sears And Roebuck quit publishing there dictionary size catalog.
  Newspaper you say? Yea, but then you have to deal with the ink residue if it`s a black and white page. Using the color section of the funnies just don`t seem right. It just don`t sit well doing such a thing to Snoopy, Garfield and the gang, does it?
   So let`s here some ideas. This problem needs solving. It needs solving NOW!
« Last Edit: September 19, 2005, 01:49:48 PM by Jackal1 »
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Offline Pooh21

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Re: When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2005, 01:53:16 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Jackal1

 It just don`t sit well doing such a thing to Snoopy, Garfield and the gang, does it?
 

:rofl :rofl :rofl

Well it would wipe the smug look right off Prince Valients mug.
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Offline Hangtime

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2005, 01:57:03 PM »
the shower sits right next to the cammode.
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Offline Curval

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2005, 01:57:08 PM »
I move over to the bidet, turn fawset and about 30 seconds later I'm good to go.:D

.....and everyone commented on what a silly idea a bidet was when I posted pics of my bathroom.:p
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Offline Toad

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2005, 01:59:33 PM »
You'd think some enterprising Yank would invent the toilet/bidet. Why have two porcelain ponies? A combo would be the best of both worlds.

Of course, the Yank models would have 300 HP and use 50 gallons per minute ... but hey....
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Offline Jackal1

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #5 on: September 19, 2005, 02:02:22 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Hangtime
the shower sits right next to the cammode.


Yes it does and is usualy the final solution.
I`m looking for prevention/interdiction ideas here. :)
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Offline indy007

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #6 on: September 19, 2005, 02:06:02 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Toad
You'd think some enterprising Yank would invent the toilet/bidet. Why have two porcelain ponies? A combo would be the best of both worlds.

Of course, the Yank models would have 300 HP and use 50 gallons per minute ... but hey....


The already have. Very gadgety. Only $550, it's a seat conversion actually. Heated seat, "posterior" wash, femine wash, deoderizer, warm air dryer, & automatic closing lid.

The R model, for $100 more, features a urine spray guard, self cleaning, adjustable, osscilating, massaging nozzles, an enema wash, and of course.. you geussed it.. a remote control.
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Offline mosgood

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #7 on: September 19, 2005, 02:09:04 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Hangtime
the shower sits right next to the cammode.



LOL  you beat me to it!


Here's one worse, I remember once when I was a kid.... I was walking home from school and I thought I was just farting but........
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Offline Curval

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #8 on: September 19, 2005, 02:09:20 PM »
Sweeeeeet.  A deoderizer!!!  That is just sheer genius......unless it just deoderizes the bidet of course.
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Offline Mickey1992

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Re: When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #9 on: September 19, 2005, 02:23:39 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Jackal1
Here is where the big problem starts. You discover that.... Charmin has left the building.


Are you wearing socks?
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Offline Toad

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #10 on: September 19, 2005, 02:26:09 PM »
Cuval, I think it's just for "fumes".

[qutoe]Automatically starts operating when you sit down and stops approximately 1 minute after you stand up.  The Silver impregnated charcoal filter will last up to 7 years.  
   
[/quote]
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If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen!

Offline Xargos

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #11 on: September 19, 2005, 02:26:13 PM »
I thought this thread was going to be about keeping a rubber in your wallet.    :D
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Offline mosgood

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #12 on: September 19, 2005, 02:27:44 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Xargos
I thought this thread was going to be about keeping a rubber in your wallet.    :D



Hmmm... that might not work to good
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Offline DJ111

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #13 on: September 19, 2005, 04:38:32 PM »
Any item of clothing you have on/near, or any pets nearby that made the mistake of falling asleep.......


:)
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Offline Shuckins

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #14 on: September 19, 2005, 04:45:23 PM »
That's what empty milk jugs are for, boy.  Always keep a pair near the pc.  One for number one, and the second, with top cut out, for number two.  Save your left over corncobs for the cleaning up.
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