Author Topic: Parent jailed for spanking child... (Read 2919 times)

Kieran · « **Reply #30 on:** July 03, 2001, 11:04:00 AM »

Of course you all know I find this discourse extremely interesting. Look how many viewpoints we have on the issue of discipline vs. how many posters. Now imagine trying to establish a disciplinary policy that makes all of you happy.

Welcome to public education.

As for my own children (10 and 4), yes, I have spanked them, sparingly. When I do so I have exhausted other methods of discipline. I agree with those that say it should not be the first recourse, but strongly disagree with those that say it should never be done. My rule of thumb; I'll go for respect and understanding first, but once I am satisfied it won't work I will use whatever means necessary to bring about the desired change in behavior. It is my responsibility to control my children, not society's.

Fury · « **Reply #31 on:** July 03, 2001, 11:21:00 AM »

In keeping on track of the text in the original post, it seems to me that it is important to note that the woman hit her child with a belt four times in public.

Spanking with a belt and spanking with your hand are two completely different things imho. "Spanking" with an object other than your hand in public will always get people to look at you.

How many times have you seen a parent apply a spanking while waiting in line in a supermarket?

How many times have you seen a parent remove their belt and apply it four times in a supermarket?

Even so, there's got to be more to the story than just what was said. No mention was made of any marks found or exactly why they found the woman guilty of child abuse. I think it's important to know on what grounds she was jailed -- why did they find her guilty of child abuse?

Sandman · « **Reply #32 on:** July 03, 2001, 11:34:00 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Nifty:

I disagree. I may not have children, but... a) I was a child and remember how/why my parents disciplined me. I'm only 26, I'm not THAT far removed from my childhood. b) I might WANT to have children one day, so I SHOULD post my thoughts on the subject so if I'm totally screwed up, YOU can make my life (and the future kid's life!!) a little easier!

Go ahead... Post your thoughts. I guarantee that parenting is nothing like you imagine and is much harder to do than your parents made it look.

As a child, I almost believed my mother had some magical way of knowing when we were doing something we weren't supposed to. Now, as an adult parent I can attest that children are the most horrible liars. Their entire body gives them away. They are as easy to read as puppies and they simply cannot comprehend that we too were once children. Been there done that and got the spanking to prove it.

Gunthr · « **Reply #33 on:** July 03, 2001, 11:44:00 AM »

Eagler - Yeah, I knew what you meant in the puppy/kid analogy... the image of whacking a kid with a rolled up newspaper was too much to resist! Sorry

Et al - I don't believe in spanking my kids, but I don't have a problem if others spank theirs if they feel it is necessary. While I don't spank my kids, my wife and I do discipline them. I would never leave that important of an obligation up to "society" or government. I believe that if you do spank your kids, that kind of discipline should be over by the time your child enters the first grade. I don't think parents of any elementary or middle-school kid should be spanking them.

By the way, we are conservative Republicans, and very involved with our kid's schools.

Apache · « **Reply #34 on:** July 03, 2001, 11:56:00 AM »

The downward trend of violence is a misperception. I've been in law enforcement since 1980. Believe me, you don't see it all on TV. Our society is going down the tubes in a hurry.

To qualify, I have 2 children, ages 19 & 16.

[ 07-03-2001: Message edited by: Apache ]

mrfish · « **Reply #35 on:** July 03, 2001, 12:09:00 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Gunthr:
[QB]

I think our jails are full of people that were taught violence by being spanked. I don't agree with all the folklore that extols the virtue of corporal punishment for kids.

QB]

so spanked children grow up to be violent and commit crimes?? oh brother.....you'd be very happy in my town with that philosophy - imagine all the new victims that could be created from post spanking syndrome.

generations of americans have grown up nonviolent, well-adjusted and respectful despite spankings. in fact the generation in which spankings weren't questioned didnt have to lock their doors and referred to their elders as sir and ma'am and actually sat quiet in class! i cant say that about the new enlightened crowd.

i watched a little girl on the bus pull this woman's hair because she thought it was a wig. the mother said to stop in a nice correct tone and the girl laughed at her and explained that she thought it was a wig. the mother laughed at the thought. a few seconds later she did it again and the mother said "that's enough - time out for you when we get home" the girl whined a little and stopped. never once did the mother demand the child apologize to the lady.

such a move in my childhood would never have happened - maybe once at most. it isnt something that should be corrected after the fact with some pc punishment - it simply should never happen in the first place. kids dont understand why they shouldnt do things sometimes - if you are kind to your children and only spank them when it is necessary then they will respect and not fear you.

i dont remember even one spanking that actually hurt - it was just the feeling that you had gone too far and disappointed your parents that made it work. going to the corner or losing some privilege really had minimal impact. in fact after the age of 5 or so spankings aren't really necessary - the kid should know better by then and you can reason with them.

SOB · « **Reply #36 on:** July 03, 2001, 12:16:00 PM »

I feel it should be noted for the record that Mr. Fish, perhaps but not necessarily as a result of him being spanked as a child, now regularly pays a transvestite hooker to give him a good spanking. Just wanted to interject that, in case it was relevent to the argument!

SOB

Gunthr · « **Reply #37 on:** July 03, 2001, 12:34:00 PM »

MrFish,
I don't have a problem with any parent who feels that it is appropriate to spank thier young child. I think it's a parent's right and obligation to discipline thier kids.

I don't spank my kids. I don't believe it's necessary. Maybe I've just been lucky with my kids (all fairly well-behaved girls).

However, its been my observation that incidents of hitting, spanking, and whippings of children become more frequent the lower down the socio-economic strata you go. I stand by my statement that many, if not most, of the convicted violent offenders in jail or prison have been subjected to physical parental violence. I have no way of proving that they have, its just my impression. I have no way of proving that being subjected to this violence as a child causes a person to be violent in later life. But it seems to me that a child learns how to deal with anger from its parents. It is obvious that these felons have problems in that regard.

In your example of the woman and her daughter on the bus, its pretty clear that the mother had no control over her child. I'm suggesting that the mother didn't lose control at that moment, she lost control over her child long ago through lack of discipline.

Ripsnort · « **Reply #38 on:** July 03, 2001, 12:39:00 PM »

AhA! There we have it, he doesn't have boys! Little boys were created by God to show parents that discipline may be required!

My sister never spanked her kids, 4 girls....my mother and father never spanked my sisters, only me, wanna know why? THEY NEVER DID ANYTHING AS BAD AS I DID!

one word: Testosterone.

Gunthr · « **Reply #39 on:** July 03, 2001, 12:41:00 PM »

LOL <S> Ripsnort

mrfish · « **Reply #40 on:** July 03, 2001, 01:05:00 PM »

fair enough gunthr - you did get off easy though by having girls

sob: that's eddie murphy you are thinking about.

Ripsnort · « **Reply #41 on:** July 03, 2001, 01:12:00 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by mrfish:
fair enough gunthr - you did get off easy though by having girls

I beg to differ, when his girls and my boys are teenagers, I will only have to worry about two salamanders in town, he'll have to worry about EVERY salamander in town...

Eagler · « **Reply #42 on:** July 03, 2001, 01:16:00 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by mrfish:
fair enough gunthr - you did get off easy though by having girls

No way! Gunthr's trials are yet to come ... I wouldn't trade a boy child for a girl child anyday

especially in the 10 to 16 year old range, can't imagine trying that unless she was studying to be a nun in a convent somewhere

Gunthr · « **Reply #43 on:** July 03, 2001, 01:22:00 PM »

Eagler, Believe me, I tell them boys are only out for one thing... but they say that I only say that because that was how I was LOL

Ripsnort: In the words of my six year old girl - "Girls rule, boys drool!"

MrFish, there are benefits to living with 5 women. You never have to answer the phone, just sit there and watch the stampede

batdog · « **Reply #44 on:** July 03, 2001, 01:33:00 PM »

Balance... I think a child will turn out in a fashion that is directly related to key elements in thier enviroment. A home with a lot of love but stern displine will turn out a good person... a home with a lot of displine but no love will turn out something... a home with alot of love but no displine will turn out something ...

You stack your odds with some balance. I think sometimes parents can fail to produce themselves as objects of authority. Those that do seem to be able to "control" the kids better. If a child has no respect for you... give up trying to get them to listen.

Anyway... good luck with the rugrats all

xBAT