> America has engaged in some finger wagging lately because
> California doesn't have enough electricity to meet its
> needs. The rest of the country (including George W. Bush's
> energy secretary Spencer Abraham, who wants Californians to
> suffer through blackouts as justification for drilling for
> oil in Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge) seems to be
> just fine with letting Californians dangle in the breeze
> without enough power to meet their needs. They laugh at
> Californians' "frivolity."
>
> Well, everybody. Here's how it really is:
>
> California ranks 48th in the nation in power consumed per
> person. California grows more than half the nation's fruit,
> nuts and vegetables. We're keeping them. We need something
> to eat when the power goes out. We grow 99 percent or more
> of the nation's almonds, artichokes, dates, figs, kiwifruit,
> olives, persimmons, pistachios, prunes, raisins and walnuts.
>
> Hope you won't miss them.
>
> California is the nation's number one dairy state. We're
> keeping our dairy products. We'll need plenty of fresh ones
> since our refrigerators can't be relied upon. Got milk?
>
> We Californians are gonna keep all our high-tech software in
> state. Silicon Valley is ours, after all. Without enough
> electricity, which you're apparently keeping for yourselves,
> we just plain don't have enough software to spare. We're
> keeping all our airplanes. California builds a good
> percentage of the commercial airliners available to fly you
> people to where you want to go. When yours wear out, you'd
> better hope Boeing's Washington plant can keep you
> supplied. There isn't enough electricity here to allow us
> to export any more planes than we need ourselves. And while
> we're at it, we're keeping all our high- tech aerospace
> stuff, too, like the sophisticated weapons systems that let
> you sleep at night, not worried you might wake up under the
> rule of some foreign kook.
>
> Oh, yeah, and if you want to make a long-distance call,
> remember where the satellite components and tracking systems
> come from. Maybe you could get back in the habit of writing
> letters.
>
> Want to see a blockbuster movie this weekend? Come to
> California. We make them here. Since we'll now have to
> make them with our own electricity, we're keeping them.
> Even if we shot them somewhere else, the labs, printing
> facilities, editing facilities, and sound facilities are all
> here.
>
> Want some nice domestic wine? We produce over 17 million
> gallons per year. We'll need all of it to drown our sorrows
> when we think about the fact that no matter how many
> California products we export to make the rest of America's
> lives better, America can't see its way clear to help us out
> with a little electricity. You can no longer have any of
> our wine.
>
> You all complain that we don't build enough power plants.
> Well, you don't grow enough food, write enough software,
> make enough movies, build enough airplanes and defense
> systems or make enough wine.
>
> This is your last warning, America. Light (us) up before
> it's too late.
>
> Love,
> The Californians
This is a copy of an email sent to me. As a native Californian, I felt it was my duty to get this out to the rest of the nation.
-math
BTW, this is a tongue-in-cheek post and should be taken as the joke that it is and not be diced/sliced/analyzed for any errors contained within. Thank you.
