Need an opinion dealing with a smoker...

[Seraphim]

*ahem*
once again thanks for the advice, rshubert, that is a good example. but I think I must clarify. When I met my girl, she was a smoker. She asked if it bothered me, I said yes, but Im not asking you to quit. She ended up quiting anyways. Her mom is a different story. She's been smoking most of her life, & I'm not certain she could even if she wanted too. My problem isn't with her smoking, only with the smoke being inside the house. Yes, it is her house, but her daughter & I pay our rent, groceries, cook & clean & such. We have no arguments about it. I only want to come to a solution in a respectful manner.

[MrRiplEy[H]]

If the smoking bothers you now that she has perky tits and a sexy bum cuddling next to you in heat, think how much it bothers you when she's all saggy and nagging to you about empty beer cans in the kitchen.

[midnight Target]

If you pay rent I think you could ask her to refrain from smoking in certain areas of the house.. like the kids room or your room.  

Always take the kid out of the room when she smokes. Period. This should send a clear message.

Then move out to your own place.

[nirvana]

Judging from Sandman's post, you should spray her with a fresh scented fluid every time she smokes.  

Seriously though, my dad and my grandma smoke, disgusting habit, give her a cup of chewing tobacco.  Just as messier yet doesn't make you stink.  Might make you feel the urge to visit the porcelin god a few times.


Otherwise, she can garden during the days, then at night she can make quilts or whatnot.  Not sure how many family members you have but it seems to keep them occupied for a little while anyway.  OH!  Jelly Belly jelly beans.  Good enough for a president, good enough for her:aok

[Jackal1]

Simple....move. It`s her house. Otherwise forget it.

[Shifty]

Originally posted by midnight Target
If you pay rent I think you could ask her to refrain from smoking in certain areas of the house.. like the kids room or your room.  

Always take the kid out of the room when she smokes. Period. This should send a clear message.

Then move out to your own place.

If you pay the rent.................... Pay the rent somewhere else. How about a place of your own where she  doesnt live or smoke. Rent or not it's her house, and her habit, and you knew she smoked when you moved in. Is this really something you can't figure out for yourself , and you have to go to a BBS for answers???

[Silat]

She is addicted to a drug. You have no power over her addiction. It rules her.
Maybe you can get her to not smoke in the house or only in her room with window fans sucking her smoke out.
Addicts have no concern over how they affect others.

[eagl]

Don't plan on being happy or secure when your welfare depends on consistent behavior from an addict of any type.  I suggest getting your own place to live.

[majic]

First off, I'm a smoker.  I really think if you asked her to limit her smoking to her room and outside that would be a positive first step.  (It's something most smokers can deal with.)  After that it's up to her (as far as quitting is concerned).  Don't push too hard as you will likely just alienate her.  She has indicated a willingness to quit, right?  Do some research on some of the methods and show her what you find.  Remember, be supportive, not pushy, and you may just be able to help her.

[majic]

Originally posted by eagl
Don't plan on being happy or secure when your welfare depends on consistent behavior from an addict of any type.  I suggest getting your own place to live.

That's just ignorant.

[rpm]

If smoking is a dealbreaker for you, hit the road.

She has the right to smoke if she wants to. It is unfair of you to try to make her quit just because you don't. Using excuses like "It makes me ill", "I'm allergic" or my personal passive aggressive favorite "It's for your health" are just cop out's used by control freaks.

If a smoker wants to stop, they will quit on their own. Forcing your opinions on smokers doesn't help, it alienates them. How would you like it if someone tried to force you to start smoking?

Either learn how to deal with it or find another girl. If you break up over smoking, there wasn't much there to begin with.

[Gh0stFT]

before she gets to sleep, ask her to listen while you read a book,
book is called "Allen Carr's Easyway™ to Stop Smoking".
Read just one chapter each night, this maybe can help, at least
it helped my Gf to get finaly rid of cigarettes. She is now clean
for 1 year.
Btw. the Book helped me too, i'm clean for 5 years !

Good luck Seraphim!

[Ikeprof]

Originally posted by rshubert
1.  She (quietly, without any histrionics or drama) left the room every time I lit up.  When I finally noticed and asked why, she (quietly, without any histrionics or drama) told me that the smoke bothered her.

2.  She never went after me as the problem.  It was always the cigarettes at fault, not me.

Now that's a great story!

[fuzeman]

Take up smoking yourself [ don't inhale ] and start bumming cigarettes off her.

{ yes this ranks high on the stOOpid response scale }

[ahgod69]

Find a new GF, and one with a hot mom too boot.  

Or send her this way