Author Topic: If only he had a gun.  (Read 563 times)

Offline Thrawn

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If only he had a gun.
« on: November 01, 2005, 10:43:11 PM »
"News from Yorskhire
Extract from the Yorkshire Evening Post:

"A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire.

Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because they thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal. But when they got closer they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, was down on all fours and the dog was straddling him from behind.

"The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to him," said Mr Crosland. "The couple were extremely offended and sickened by what they saw." Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was arrested as he walked with the dog down the road.

Hoyle, of East view, Marsh, Huddersfield, told police "I can't help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me."

He repeated the ra pe allegation at the police station and added "The dog pulled my trousers down." Hoyle, who has had a long-standing alcohol problem, was jailed for 12 months after he admitted committing an act which outraged public decency.

His barrister said Hoyle had no memory of the incident because of his drunken state, but was now very remorseful and incredibly embarrassed.

Jailing him, Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle "Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/mb606/F2241577?thread=1247780


Stole from a thread at AGW.

Offline nirvana

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If only he had a gun.
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2005, 10:56:48 PM »
:rofl   That's almost too good to be true.
Who are you to wave your finger?

Offline Dago

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If only he had a gun.
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2005, 11:07:11 PM »
Somebody get Beetle (scrmbl?) some help soon.
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Offline Hangtime

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If only he had a gun.
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2005, 11:09:21 PM »
i'm wondering if the drunk was a midget.

« Last Edit: November 01, 2005, 11:15:36 PM by Hangtime »
The price of Freedom is the willingness to do sudden battle, anywhere, any time and with utter recklessness...

...at home, or abroad.

Offline deSelys

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If only he had a gun.
« Reply #4 on: November 02, 2005, 03:26:30 AM »
Not totally impossible, really: how many times FDB's have been raped by sheep in this game?
Current ID: Romanov

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye... then it's just a game to find the eye

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Offline Vulcan

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If only he had a gun.
« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2005, 03:37:33 AM »
Its real and about a year old.

Offline lazs2

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If only he had a gun.
« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2005, 08:41:09 AM »
beetle is normal size... he had to have been on his hands and knees.

those whacky subjects huh?

lazs

Offline Scherf

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If only he had a gun.
« Reply #7 on: November 02, 2005, 09:21:22 AM »
Badger badger badger badger badger badger


Snake!
... missions were to be met by the commitment of alerted swarms of fighters, composed of Me 109's and Fw 190's, that were strategically based to protect industrial installations. The inferior capabilities of these fighters against the Mosquitoes made this a hopeless and uneconomical effort. 1.JD KTB

Offline GreenCloud

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If only he had a gun.
« Reply #8 on: November 02, 2005, 03:07:44 PM »
hangtime...thats a great lookn pit..what short *** legs hes got..cute little bastrd

Offline GtoRA2

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If only he had a gun.
« Reply #9 on: November 02, 2005, 03:19:11 PM »
He does not need a gun, not for this anyway. Being british I am sure he liked it. :D

Offline fartwinkle

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If only he had a gun.
« Reply #10 on: November 02, 2005, 11:10:53 PM »
How did the dog get the mans pants down around his ankles?
LOL this dude is a sick puppy pardon the pun.

Offline Charon

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If only he had a gun.
« Reply #11 on: November 03, 2005, 03:39:22 PM »
Quote
If only he had a gun.


That he could use on himself right about now :)

This is one of those change your name, lose all contact with family and friends and move far, far away type of thing. Maybe even to a different country.

Charon
« Last Edit: November 03, 2005, 03:41:58 PM by Charon »

Offline AWMac

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If only he had a gun.
« Reply #12 on: November 03, 2005, 03:53:59 PM »
But But what about his Son...........?




















:rofl :O
« Last Edit: November 03, 2005, 04:08:50 PM by AWMac »

Offline superpug1

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If only he had a gun.
« Reply #13 on: November 03, 2005, 09:30:31 PM »
JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS THAT THING:confused:

Offline GtoRA2

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If only he had a gun.
« Reply #14 on: November 03, 2005, 09:39:51 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by superpug1
JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS THAT THING:confused:



beetle the boards britsh mascot.