Well, it seems as if I've hit a vital birthday milestone.
"What is it?" you ask, "have you turned 15? You can now get a drivers permit?"
No.
"Have you turned 16 then, so that you can now get your actual license?"
No, not that either. Remember, I've posted lots of stuff about driving and flying already over the years, haven't you been paying attention?
"Ah. So, then you've turned 18! You can now sign documents as an adult, serve in the military, and legally purchase pornography!"
Well... no, that's not the milestone either. Out of curiosity, who exactly do you think I am? Keep guessing.
"Right! It's obvious, you're just now 21 years old! You can go and purchase alcohol! Hot damn, let's go drinking!"
Calmly, I respond in the negative yet again. No, I turned 21 a while ago. All in all, pretty anti-climactic, but... no.
"Umm... ok... wait, I've got it... you've turned... 25? Yeah! You're 25, and you can now rent cars hassle free across this great nation! Road trip!"
With infinite patience, I uncurl my fist and my face assumes a rictus of calm. I'm not sure why I'm so agitated.
"Er... you're 26?"
My left eye twitching slightly, I carefully type out "No".
After a moment, the beating of my heart quiets to a point where I can heart something other than the savage knock-knock-knocking of it, hammering at my ears like an absinthe maddened tympanist, and I answer.
No, I have hit a milestone that was... inconceivable to me when I was younger. Absolutely, impenetrably beyond comprehension, and it snuck up on me with the silent grace of an infection.
I have turned 29 today. More importantly, I totally forgot about my birthday. Didn't even realize it was coming. I recall now that I've been reminded a couple times in the last week by family, each time the realization being as astonishing as the last. But despite that, this morning, I said good morning to my wife and she told me "Happy birthday!" and I realized... I realized that I had completely forgotten about it. I had been up for almost an hour working at the computer and puttering around the house before talking to her, and it had not even crossed my mind.
I forgot my birthday. The 9 year old Ben could not have possibly imagined that such a thing might ever happen. 9 year old Ben, when not busy shoplifting, reading science fiction books, or skateboarding, could not fathom an age where you might forget something as seemingly important as a birthday. He might think about vague future milestones when he could drive, and maybe even drink, but... to forget your birthday? That just doesn't happen!
Well... it has, and I wonder about what future milestones lay invisible alongside the twisty road of life that I can't imagine now. It's not that important of a thing, but the pure unexpectedness of it has really shocked me. Twenty years from now, what will I think when I look back at Ben the 29 year old punk?
Crikey...
