Raiders Night before Christmas

[Murdr]

Originally posted 12-24-2003 09:36 PM
T'was the night before christmas, In HTC's house
Not a stick was stiring, not even a mouse.

The GV's were guarding the VH with care
In the hopes that pork-augerdweebs soon would be there.

The La-dweebs where nestled all snug in their beds.
While fluffers dreamed visions of bombing tool sheds.

With Raiders in vulch mode, and I at High cap.
Had just settled into reseting the map.

When on channel 2 arose such a chatter,
we brought up our clipboards to see what was the matter.

Red dots were approching HQ as it flashed.
No doubt we should head there before it gets smashed.

We vectored our flight to intercept course.
While Komets were scrambled to strenghthen our force.

On radar green met with the cluster of red.
No doubt when we get there they all will be dead.

Range channel got active as we moved in to vis.
"The icon says sleigh? What's that mean? What gives?"

"I got E Im moving to shoot"
"He rammed me the dweeb"
"Whats a R-S?"
"Reindeer Chute"

We moved into con range, only to learn.
Hes, dropping not bombs, but supplies fell astern.

He fired not a shot, but went on with his work,
Released all supplies; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up to 30k he rose;

But I heard him exclaim, ere he warped out of sight,
"Merry Christmas you dweebs...Oh, and learn how to fight"

Merry Christmas from the 479th Raiders!

Was gonna hold off reposting this for another week, but a newer version is up so why not.  Happy holidays.

[mussie]

Not bad

[Murdr]

Rewind 3 more years, and I believe the assasins did the first AH dedicated version

Originally posted by milnko
A Tribute to The Fat Drunk Bastards!
(remember it's all in fun)  

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Base, Not a C-HOG was stirring, nor a NIKI showed his face;

The Ostwinds were lined by the runway with care, In hopes that Mustangs and JUGs soon would be there;

The ASSASSINS were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of easy kills danced in their heads;

And HBLAIR in his 'goggles, and I in my Turban wrap, Had just settled down for a 180 proof nightcap;

When out on the flightline there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the stool to see what's the matter;

Away to the hanger I flew like a flash,
Tore open the doors and dodged a pile of trash;

The moon on the breast of the new NUTTZ terrain gave the lustre of mid-day to objects like planes;

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But a Fat Drunk Bastard, and eight tiny bish queer;

With a obese and homely driver, so pallid and sick, I knew in a moment it must be that Fatty salamander;

More rapid than beagles his BASTARDS they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Gordo! now, skernsk! now, creamo and Trimmer!
On, SOB! on Central! on mason and Argyll!

To the top of the pizza! to the top of SHINERBLOCK Hall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry heaves that before the wild vomit does fly, When they meet with a toilet, then splash in your eye, So up to the beerhall roof the Bastards they flew, With the sleigh full of sextoys, and that Fatty salamander too;

And then, with a squawk, I heard on my radio set "hurry to airborne or no beer would we get";

As I climbed in my plane, and was turning 'er round, I looked out and saw Fatty that Fat Bastard clown.

He was dressed all in silk, in a cheap pimp's suit, And his clothes were all glittery with rhinestones to boot;

A bundle of porn he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a wino or someone hooked on rock crack;

His eyes -- how shallow! his pimples how scary!
His cheeks were pockmarked, his back was real hairy!

His droll little mouth was drawn up in a pucker, all I could think "How do I git rid of this F*cker?";

The stump of a buffalo-wing he held tight in his teeth,
And the smell of BBQ sauce encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a homely face and a big fat belly,
that shook, when he belched; his breath was real smelly;

He was shabby and filthy, a right nasty ol queer, still I stood my ground when I saw him, in spite of my fear;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
soon gave me to know he'd be a homosexual to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to the sink, pulled out his JOHNSON then flashed me some pink;

And sticking his finger two knuckle deep in his nose, he pulled out a booger, that'd curl your toes;

Then to his plane the Fat Bastard did roll, hopped on it's wing like a chubby ol troll;

Once strapped in and settled to his team he gave a whistle,
And away they all flew, the bunch of flabby pig gristle;
 
Then I heard him break wind, ere he dove out of sight, "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!"

------------------
"Find your enemy and shoot him down - everything else is unimportant"
-WW1 German ACE Manfred Freiherr von Richthofen

<< MILENKO >>
ACES HIGH ASSASSINS Website
WB/AH ASSASSINS Website

[This message has been edited by milnko (edited 02-27-2001).]

[Murdr]

But long before that was Air Warrior.


Subj: An Air Warrior Christmas
Date: 12/2/97 2:22:46 PM
From: Jetmech15
Posted on: America Online

Twas the night before Christmas, when in the Air Warrior sky,
There were a few of us pilots, flying up high,
My ammo was hung in the wings with care,
Hoping an enemy plane will bring them to bare,
The ground crews were all at the pub,
Talking about all kinds of hubb bubb,
Me in my flight suit, and leather cap,
There was no time for me to take a nap,
When all of a sudden, the radar lit up,
I looked east then west, north and south, no visual was made, was I out of luck
,
The dot was red, no green, oh hell now its blue,
For I dont know what country this chap flew,
In the direction of this dot is the way I headed,
Hoping it wasn't a Spit, the plane that I dreaded,
At 1500 yards what to my wondering eyes should appear,
I'll be damned, its a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
At 800 yards, a lead turn I start,
I feel something pounding, it must be my heart,
As I finished my turn, lining up on his six,
My engine quit, oh what a fix,
I was out of fuel,
There would be no duel,
And with just the wind sound in my cockpit, oh what a shame,
I heard that fat man whistle and call them by name,
"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer! and Vixen!
On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donder! and Blitzen!
Lets get out of here, for this pilot is LAME!!!!"
And in a flash, he was out of sight,
Just as I saw the first mornings light,
I headed to the "O" club after this flight,
To knock back a few, and forget about this night!!!!!!!!!!!

To all my fellow Air Warrior pilots Az, Bz, and Cz
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jetjock<1st Royal Guard>

[Murdr]

See Rule #13













Last edited by Skroogy on 12-23-1843 at 12:01 AM

[Mugzeee]

Originally posted by Murdr
See Rule #13
Old Scroogy!












Last edited by Skroogy on 12-23-1843 at 12:01 AM

[Murdr]

Merry Christmas all

[Mugzeee]

And to you also sir