Reports indicate the Carl, former grounds keeper at the Bushwood Country Club (Caddyshack) is reporting live for CNN under the assumed name of Kamal Hyder. Analysts agree, this is most likely a CIA backed plan. Carl, who gained fame researching precision methods in blowing gopher's out of thier holes disappeard from the public eye approximately 20 years ago. While generally unsuccesful in his early endeavours, it is agreed that Carl has most likely spent the last 20 years recieving training from the CIA, Seals, Green Berets and Delta-Force. Rest easy America, Carl, America's new superweapon is currently rooting around the tunnels and caves of Northern Afghanistan and was last heard making the statement: "If you think that gopher had it rough, just wait till I find these little terrorist bashtards!!".
Tumor
P.S. lol, sorry, hadda do that. First time I heard that guy Kamal on CNN, Carl was the first thing that came to mind.
