The Bastard Operator From Hell

[SOB]

LOL...This is great, especially if you've ever worked in customer service!  
 http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html


SOB

[Hangtime]

hehehhe... I know what yer thinkin SOB; and I'm with yah. Give 'em hell.  

(excerpt from "operator from hell")

The phone rings.

"The Screen on my PC is blank!!!"

"It's the power cord" I say

"No, I checked that. When I switch it on, it does nothing!"

"It's the power cord" I say

"No, I checked and it's all plugged in properly. There's no lights on the keyboard or anything"

"It's the power cord" I say

"Oh Hey! I just noticed, the cord's not plugged in properly!"

"The power cord?" I ask

"Yes... Woopsy"

"No worries at all" I say "Is it all working well now?"

"Yes, I think so. I'm sorry, you WERE right all along"

"Yes, we're getting a lot of this, it's due to the current Global Warming problem. It causes random thermal expansion and contraction resulting in temperature induced movement of friction based holding mechanisms.."

I listen carefully. Nothing. In other words, ...

"You can fix it permanently tho'" I say

"Really? How?"

"Well it's all to do with lowering salt deposits on the metal contacts"

"Oh!" (Dummy mode irrevocably engaged)

"All you need to do is just take the power plug out, deposit some dilute mineral salts on it. Do you have some dilute mineral salts on you?"

"Uh... no?"

"Ok, no worries, just stick it in your mouth; drool into it. But make sure you wipe the plug first to get rid of any germs, and TURN THE SWITCH OFF ON THE MONITOR before you do - we don't want a nasty accident!

"Oh. Ok!"

>Fzzzt< >clunk!<

I hang up as the receiver hits the floor. Disk space is too good for them.

Hehehhe... this guys exploits in the early 90's kept me laffin fer days. Good find, SOB, nice to know the "Bastard" is still out there.  

[AcId]

He's who kept me going during my jr. Unix Admin days    And I strove to provide a level of service unsurpassed by any preceeding me or replacing me    

*tear*
I almost miss those days.

[bigUC]

I'm in hell right now!    I got a summer job as support/helpdesk for Oslo International Summer school - over 500 students from 150 (!) countries using the computer room im sitting in now (appox 50 PC's) + a few personal laptops.  I speak two, almost three languages (all equally bad, one is worthless).  I am alone.

Some students laugh at my stupid/unknowing attempts to explain things, others need to be taught the fundamentals of electrical power.

This is the lowest form of a computer related job you can get (at least since server backups got somewhat automated). I'm not doing this again next summer!!!! (Said that last year too).  Hopefully i'm getting back to cleaning those urinals.

[Hangtime]

And your login ID/password is.. ?????

 

[Ripsnort]

Oh Gawd, my gut STILL hurts, reminds me of the "Jerky Boys" and their phone calls, you ever heard them?

[qts]

For more stories, read www.theregister.co.uk.

Fortunately for my users, I'm discreet.