Well, how embarrassing! Now that the US/Europe pissing contest material has shifted away from guns and onto Boeing/Airbus, I have my own anecdotal tale of woe to tell about Airbus.
…so there I was, all strapped into my seat on a Monarch Airlines A320 about to depart LGW bound for TFS. I felt the nudge as pushback commenced, and assumed that the next sounds would be the first engine starting and the
”Borrrfff…” sound as it lights up, but… nothing. Indeed, the next sound was the Captain’s voice, announcing a “minor technical difficulty”! The engine won’t start. The engineers are going to have to come out and do engine runs – not permitted with passengers on, so would we kindly disembark back to the gate lounge. Shortly after stepping into the gate lounge came the news that the aircraft had been declared unserviceable. My heart sank. In over 40 years of commercial flying as a passenger, this was only the second time this had happened, and on the only other occasion we had to make an unscheduled stopover in Lisbon. (That time, it was a B727 on the second leg of a journey to Funchal back in the old 2-hop days because of the short runway at FNC.) Still, I don’t think it’s fair to blame Airbus for an engine fault when the engine was made by Phut and Whine.
However, very much to the credit of Monarch Airlines, a replacement aircraft was found, and we were all delighted to hear that it was already on the ground at LGW. We had been instructed to remain at the gate and when the replacement aircraft was ready, we embarked down the steps and onto the apron to be bussed out to the plane, which was in a remote corner of the airfield about a mile from the original gate area.
This next aircraft looked like a much better proposition – an A321 - newer, 40 seats bigger, and best of all it had Rolls Royce engines, the silver RR decals on the side of the engines gleaming reassuringly in the early afternoon sun as we pulled up alongside.
We took off only about 2 hours later than originally planned. I was surprised how quiet this A321 was, even on takeoff. It soon got to ~35,000ft – on account of the cold crisp air over Britain, the 40 empty seats, and the relatively light payload of fuel which, I am reliably informed, would have been about 20 tons. Another possible factor in this fast climb was the average passenger weight, which… no, I’d better not go there.
;)
It was also the smoothest flight I can ever remember, so smooth that I was able to balance a 20p coin on its edge on my open tray-table – a great tribute to Airbus engineering, and to the Rolls Royce engines of course. The computers doing the flying did a great job. The tail stayed on throughout the entire flight.
The return journey was an A320 again – it was fine, with much more legroom than the A321 or the original A320, but I think it had Phut & Whine engines – cod the drone was deafening on takeoff – and I was in row 4. But cruise was OK. I assume the tail stayed on – it was too dark for me to see upon arrival back at LGW.
