Here's a quick "how it works" and, I think you'll see why it has to work that way.
Say two players, A & B, line up nose to nose at time 1 like in the diagram below:

Now, being diehard daredevils, both players go screaming at each other in the proverbial game of chicken. Both planes are screaming towards each other. Player B loses his nerve and, at the very last second, dives underneath
Because of net lag, Player A does not see Player B dive away but decides to end this in a Ram. He doesn't change course, he does nothing to avoid the ram. At the exact same time Player B sees himself diving away on his (Player B's) computer, Player A sees this:

Now, Player A suffered a collision on
his front end (read computer) and dies. Player B missed the collision
on his front end and so survived. If you changed the way this worked, Player B would die even though he successfully maneuvered away from the collission. That would hardly be fair. Now, it is possible for the same thing to happen with Player B screaming in on Player A from behind. If Player B successfully maneuvers away from a collision
on his front end, he survives. If Player A does not maneuver away from the collision, even if he never sees it, he suffers a crash. It's the only way to account for net lag. You maneuver against what you see
on your front end. It's the same way someone shoots you when you know his nose is not pointing at you... on his front end, it is and he has registered a kill!