The heads of the CIA, FBI, and the LAPD were in a
conference with the president of the United States. They couldn't accomplish much, however,
because of their incessant rivalry
with regards to which agency could apprehend suspects the most efficiently and quickly.
The president decides to settle it once and for all by releasing a rabbit into the woods
and timing the results of the agencies as a test of efficiency.
The CIA places several animal informants in the woods and after eighteen weeks of deep cover
questioning of all the animal, plant and mineral witnesses, they conclude that the rabbit has
fled to a foreign country and that they need arms to trade with Columbia in order to get
cooperation with extradition efforts.
The FBI surrounds the woods with its own agents and those of the ATF after reports that the
rabbit has armed himself and is operating a militia using the woods as a hub of operation.
After four weeks of frustation and standoff they rush the woods without warrants and
accidentally burn down the whole damned woods with a malfunctioning tear gas canister,
killing 112 rabbits, several hundred animal hostages and innocent onlookers. They insisted,
however that the rabbit had it coming because they had given him ample time to give himself
up.
The LAPD sent four uniformed officers into the woods and in less than an hour returned with
a badly beaten black bear who was screaming Okay, Okay, I'm a rabbit.
The president gave up.
