Author Topic: Why I was fired from the Bomb Disposal Unit:  (Read 663 times)

Offline Ripsnort

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Why I was fired from the Bomb Disposal Unit:
« on: January 30, 2001, 10:20:00 AM »
 

Offline StSanta

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Why I was fired from the Bomb Disposal Unit:
« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2001, 11:06:00 AM »
ROFL!

Hahaahah!

Great one rip!

<S!>


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Offline Staga

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Why I was fired from the Bomb Disposal Unit:
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2001, 11:22:00 AM »
LOL!

Offline Ripsnort

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Why I was fired from the Bomb Disposal Unit:
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2001, 11:51:00 AM »
Speaking of failing careers:

Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.
 
Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
 
Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.
 
Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
A: Because they looked in the file, and that's what they did last year.
 
Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up  a road map the wrong way.


You might be an engineer if:
 

Choosing between buying flowers for your wife and upgrading your RAM is a problem.

You take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.

In college, you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure.

The salespeople at the local computer store can't answer any of your questions.

At an air show, you know how fast the skydivers are falling.

For your wife's birthday you gave her a new CD-ROM drive or a Palm Pilot.

You can quote scenes from any Monte Python movie.

You can type 70 words per minute but you can't read your own handwriting.

You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.

You sit backwards on Disney rides so you can see how they do the special effects.

You have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.

You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.

You know what http:// stands for.

You look forward to Christmas so you can put together the kids toys.

You see a good design, and have to change it.

You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.

You still own a slide rule and know how to use it.

You think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived.

You window shop at Radio Shack.

Your laptop computer cost more than your car.

Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.

You've already calculated how much you make per second.

You've tried to repair a $5 radio.



Offline mrfish

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Why I was fired from the Bomb Disposal Unit:
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2001, 01:12:00 PM »
let me know when you are ready to trade handles rip - looks like you are doin all the fishin today  

Offline Fishu

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Why I was fired from the Bomb Disposal Unit:
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2001, 02:10:00 PM »
sounds bad.. sounds like im an engineer

You can type 70 words per minute but you can't read your own handwriting.

hmm, sounds familiar - gez.. i hate signatures!  

The salespeople at the local computer store can't answer any of your questions.

professional people working out here in puter stores, but helpdesks do suck..
Last time I heard that company replied to email about ADSL's that those are some infrared stuffs going in through the air and giving you smoother video  - at least the guy kept saying that was what he was told to..

or helpdesk giving me a number to call with a modem to check my login when ADSL things aint working and I still keep hearing the same even after I tell that ADSL is not a modem or ISDN and doesnt connect by a phone number.

I was pretty amused after that helpdesk call..

You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.

I guess I don't have half thousand friends in real life...
*gets quick count out of ICQ and MSN zone friends*
*finds out that he has 200+250 friends by ICQ + MSN*
More serious when I only add necessary people in those...

(MSN Zone friend list before WW2 mod = 25, few months after the WW2 mod = +200)


lookin' bad

Offline Mighty1

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Why I was fired from the Bomb Disposal Unit:
« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2001, 08:01:00 AM »
My god I'm an engineer!!!

1)Oh. Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!

2)Oh, it's the meek! Blessed are the meek! Oh, that's nice, isn't it? I'm glad they're getting something, 'cause they have a hell of a time.

3)Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown,
 nd things seem hard or tough, And people are stupid, obnoxious, or daft, and you feel that you've had quite enough,
       [singing]
Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour, That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned, A sun that is the source of all our power. The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour, Of the galaxy we call the 'Milky Way'.

Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars. It's a hundred thousand light years side to side. It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick, But out by us, it's just three thousand light years wide. We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point. We go 'round every two hundred million years, And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions In this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding In all of the directions it can whizz As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know, Twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is. So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure, How amazingly unlikely is your birth, And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.                            
 
Can you name the person and/or the movie?  
I have been reborn a new man!

Notice I never said a better man.

Offline StSanta

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Why I was fired from the Bomb Disposal Unit:
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2001, 08:57:00 AM »
Oh my god.

I might be an engineer too!

UGHA. I quit studying to become an engineer to become a computer geek instead, thinking there was a better chance of getting hotter chicks whilse still in school.

Sad part is; i was right  .



------------------
Baron Claus "StSanta" Von Ribbentroppen
9./JG 54 "Grünherz"

"I don't necessarily agree with everything I think." - A. Eldritch

Mk10 225th

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Why I was fired from the Bomb Disposal Unit:
« Reply #8 on: January 31, 2001, 10:12:00 AM »
Isn't it Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life"?

Mk