And now for something a little different
I am a BAD American.
I like big guns, and naturally big breasts.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squeezing out babies.
I don't care about appearing compassionate.
I think playing with guns doesn't make you a killer.
I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
I think I'm better off than the homeless.
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
I don't care if you call me a racist, a homophobe or a misogynist.
I am not tolerant of others just because they are different.
I don't celebrate Swansea.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you do it in English.
I want to know when MTV became such crap.
I know what the definition of lying is.
I think Oprah's eyes are way too far apart.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, and they
can do it in their schools.
My heroes are John Wayne, Norman Schwartzkopf, and whoever canceled Dr.
Quinn the Medicine Woman.
I think creative violence and useless nudity and sex makes Iraqis deader and movies more interesting.
I don't hate the rich.
I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake, but I still think The Rock could kick my butt.
I've never owned nor have I ever been a slave. I didn't wander forty years
in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt.I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut-up already.
I believe a self-righteous liberal with a cause, is more dangerous than a Play Station.
I want to know exactly which church is it, where the Rev. Jesse Jackson preaches.
I don't care where Ellen DeGeneres puts her tongue.
I think explosions are cool.
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry bellybutton if you're running from them.
I believe if you are in the presence of a cop and you brandish any kind of
weapon, you're stupid and dead meat.
I like the convenience of buying oranges while I'm waiting at a stoplight,
and I'm pretty sure the Latina midget selling them to me is glad she no
longer lives in a refrigerator packing carton outside Ensenada.
I want somebody to explain to me exactly why it's wrong to point out
that when I watch a freeway chase, I know the loser(s) the police will
eventually pull out of the car, are gonna be gang-banging homies or vatos.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes parents.
I believe you don't have to speak with a lisp to pick out a couch for your livingroom.
I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody's feelings
YES, I'm a BAD American.........
