Author Topic: 3rd chances... (Read 393 times)

nirvana · « **on:** May 02, 2006, 12:40:46 PM »

My step brother who was around for about 1 month when I was in 5th grade (5 years ago) has an outdate from jail 10-13-06. I'm not hip on the whole jail lingo and such, and it's a touchy subject so it's not a good subject to bring to the dinner table. Is an outdate like a trial run? See how things go? Or is it he's out on parole? As much as the guy has screwed up in his life i'd like to see him get out and stay out. He's was in a youth detention center since he was 16, got out at 18, came home stole my moms car...back to the big house. There was also a stint in a halfway house for about 3 months before he decided to break curfew to get a few movies at Blockbuster. 5 years later they think society is ready for him again. I have mixed feelings about whether or not he should be allowed back in. My step dad can only lay down the law so far, if he doesn't like it he goes to his mom, who is totally weak and will cave in to his every request. He's 21-22 now I think it's time to grow up, whether he does is his choice. Such a waste of life.

Oh yeah, the question was, what's an outdate?

Midnight · « **Reply #1 on:** May 02, 2006, 01:53:57 PM »

My guess would be that is the date he gets out of jail.

-Concho- · « **Reply #2 on:** May 02, 2006, 01:55:56 PM »

Is he in county jail or prison?

rpm · « **Reply #3 on:** May 02, 2006, 02:05:03 PM »

How long has he been in? That "outdate" may have a whole different meaning.

Seagoon · « **Reply #4 on:** May 02, 2006, 04:25:36 PM »

An outdate is just a release date, that could be released on parole or simply released - time served. If he is on parole, he will need to stay in state with a family member, or he'll have to go to a monitored facility (half-way house). He'll also have to visit his parole officer who can decide if he can stay out or if he'll be RTC'd (returned to custody).

If he's done all of his time, which seems likely given that he broke his earlier parole, he won't be under any restrictions and doesn't technically have to live with you.

My experience is that without a major change of heart (check in your bible under "regeneration") most guys who have been in for as long as you indicate your brother has don't do well in society, and generally return to previous patterns pretty quickly (its called "recidivism"). The rest of their life after that is generally spent in a constant cycle of crime--->jail--->release--->crime--->jail, unless they live in a "three strikes" state. His best bet would be to get in faith based program after he gets out as quickly as he can, or even a less-effective program like Job Corps. Anything is better than just being dumped on the street if he really doesn't want to go back.

As far as dealing with him, you'll be intimidated, and it will be horribly weird for a while. Unless you are in a position to give him good advice spiritually, my advice would simply to make it clear that you and your family don't want him to go back to jail, and that you'd like to have a brother, many guys end up going back simply because they perceive nobody cares and there is nothing for them on the outside.

Godspeed.

- SEAGOON

nirvana · « **Reply #5 on:** May 02, 2006, 05:01:11 PM »

His high school dean was my health teacher and we talked about him, gave a new light on it. He said they got along great but that he could see he was going down the path to prison (school choices, friends, etc.) As far as I know my step dad used to be a very heavy drinker as did his mom, no drugs that I know of, but it paints the picture of a very troubled childhood. He wanted his parents to notice him so he stole cars. I think he's on parole when he gets out but i'm not sure. He lived with us for a few months, then moved in with his mom, then eventually with friends. The latter was when everything started to crumble again (stealing my moms car, possibly other things). He seemed, to me at least, that he wanted to be an active part of our family. When he messed up, my stepdad would get on him like you would not believe. In my opinion it's because he wants his son in his life but every time Jason messes up, it drags them farther apart. Being that i've only had 6 years of experience with it i'm not totally sure what's happened and such. Yeah, i'd like a brother to play pool with, yeah i'd like a brother to go shooting with, but it's so hard to get him on the right path.

(Halfway houses don't work, he broke curfew, stole the houses van, went to Blockbuster.)

Nash · « **Reply #6 on:** May 02, 2006, 09:28:09 PM »

Just curious...

So far you've got him down for taking his mom's car and breaking curfew to rent videos. Of course I don't know why he wound up in youth detention at 16 years old, but by my math, he has done probably 6+ years so far.

Certainly I'm missing something, right?

nirvana · « **Reply #7 on:** May 02, 2006, 10:08:35 PM »

He went to youth detention for a high speed pursuit from Denver, Colorado to Lincoln, Nebraska or something like that. He was a juvenile so they didn't charge him as an adult I guess? That was before my step dad and mom met so I don't have much detention. He used to dabble around with small crime and stuff. So that first count of grand theft auto put him on parole then he stole my moms car and they locked him up for 6 years for violating parole. I think that's how it happened anyway. Parents didn't press charges, was parole violation he went to jail for as far as I know.

Did you guys hear the one about the football player who went into jail a tight end and came out a wide receiver...?

Nash · « **Reply #8 on:** May 02, 2006, 11:31:34 PM »

I don't wanna get too nosey, it's just that something doesn't add up.

Denver to Lincoln is a whopping 500 mile police chase. Does that seem possible to you? Does it also seem possible that a parole violation by a minor nets that minor 6 years in prison?

Actually, those are details that probably hint at the truth, and while missing something, paint a kind of general picture of a troubled kid somehow.

The guy has obviously had it rough. And I'm not sure how/when/why it all started for him, but it's definitaly from the 9th grade and prior. Y'all are gonna do the usual 'call me some kind of bleeding heart liberal soft on criminals routine'... (bite me

) but when I see a kid gone so wrong, the first place I look are his parents.

Almost makes me wanna see a law that says for every day their kid is behind bars, they spend a day behind bars.

Quote

I know my step dad used to be a very heavy drinker as did his mom, no drugs that I know of, but it paints the picture of a very troubled childhood. He wanted his parents to notice him so he stole cars.

..... and the next thing ya know, your 14 year old kid is now 22, and has an 'outdate' from years of institutionalization. He now knows more about crime than he ever did, and more probably than anyone could imagine. He spent the first 3 years of his life as a baby, the next five building go-carts, the next five figuring girls out, and then whammo, marked the beginning of an actual conscious stage of his life in the system. It's pretty much all he knows, in a real sense. And it doesn't bode well...

Go ahead.... ask your folks some tough questions.

Hangtime · « **Reply #9 on:** May 03, 2006, 12:06:59 AM »

A brother to shoot pool with... maybe. But not a brother to hunt or go shooting with. Convicted felons can't have guns. That kid even touches a gun he's headed back up the river. DON'T show him yours, or even ever mention you have one. Hate to hear the mixed up kid swiped yer rifle and did a texas tower with it.

Good luck.. and stay alert.

nirvana · « **Reply #10 on:** May 03, 2006, 12:07:58 AM »

Let me be the first to say this is going to sound like a Mr. Black Conspiracy thing but it's true to what memory i have.

I get what you're saying Nash. I say Denver to Lincoln because my step dad said that is where he had to drive for the court hearing. He could have been stopped a few miles into Nebraska for all I know. Would they have taken the time to transport him all the way to Lincoln? I don't know. It DOES paint a picture of a troubled kid. Whether or not this makes any difference, all of his old hot wheels have burn holes in the. Pyro kid or pained kid, I don't know. He followed the whole Eminem trend, tried being something he was not, tried being a natural criminal, didn't work out, obviously. I'm just telling it how i've heard it. I have no doubts that it isn't half of what is actually there. You can see that my step dad cares for him, but then again he'd rather not even worry about him.

I probably have my times switched up anyway, this might be it. 16-18 he was in a juvenile detention center for stealing cars. He's out of the detention center for 2 weeks to a month, not sure, during which time he stays in our house. He goes back to the detention center for another few months, after he gets out he goes to his mom's apartment, stays there a few weeks and moves in with friends. The **** hits the fan. He's placed into a halfway house by his parole officer I guess staying there for a few weeks before he steals their van and heads to Blockbuster. He's now on the run with his friends. (I did spot him with his friends driving down the road, he quickly rolled up the window) While i'm staying with my dad and my parents are in Las Vegas, he gets access to our house (his mom had our house key for house sitting, bad decision, I know). Steals my mom's car, his mom notifies my dad who proceeds to notify my mom and step dad in Vegas.

Colorado State Patrol are notified and quickly locate the car, wait an hour to put together a blockade. Him and 4 or 5 of his friend are arrested for grand theft auto. This is in 2000 or 2001 I believe. Next day the Vegas Vacation is cut short and they arrive home. After doing all the police stuff, $100 to get the car out of impound, he's serving time for parole violation and a restraining order against him. Did that make any sense? Not sure if the restraining order is still in place, we've moved since then so although he doesn't know where the new house is i'm sure he could find it someway, he sent the birthday card to the right address.

Was a little long, sorry.

Lazerus · « **Reply #11 on:** May 03, 2006, 12:25:42 AM »

After reading your synopsis, he deserves to be in jail.

Nash · « **Reply #12 on:** May 03, 2006, 12:37:01 AM »

Was it the burn marks on the Hot Wheels that turned it around for ya, Lazerus?

eagl · « **Reply #13 on:** May 03, 2006, 12:45:12 AM »

It sounds to me like he just needed to be spanked a few times growing up.

That said, if he ever finds someone or something he can look up to, then maybe he can turn his life around. He obviously needs to be out DOING things and his crimes appear to be escapist in nature, and I know for sure that there are jobs that would suit him well if he ever wanted a "normal" life bad enough.

The trick is getting him to care, and if he receives a lot of crap from his family about his past then it's unlikely he'll ever care about anything.

My $.02