Flight maintenance for aces high Grease monkeys

[Kaw1000]

> > > Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane
> > > but only a high
> > > >school diploma to fix one; just some Reassurance
> > > for those of us who fly
> > > >routinely in their jobs.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a
> > form,
> > > called a "gripe
> > > >sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with
> > > the aircraft.
> > > >
> > > >The mechanics correct the problems, document
> > their
> > > repairs on the
> > > >form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets
> > > before the next flight.
> > > >Never
> > > >let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of
> > > humor.  Here are some
> > > >actual maintenance complaints submitted by
> > Qantas'
> > > pilots (marked with a
> > > >P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S)
> > by
> > > maintenance engineers.
> > > >By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that
> > > has never had an
> > > >accident.
> > > >
> > > >          P: Left inside main tire almost needs
> > > replacement.
> > > >
> > > >          S: Almost replaced left inside main
> > tire.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >          P: Test flight OK, except auto-land
> > very
> > > rough.
> > > >
> > > >          S: Auto-land not installed on this
> > > aircraft.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >          P: Something loose in cockpit.
> > > >
> > > >          S: Something tightened in cockpit.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >          P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> > > >
> > > >          S: Live bugs on back-order.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >  P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a
> > 200
> > > feet per minute
> > > >  descent.
> > > >  S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >          P: Evidence of leak on right main
> > landing
> > > gear.
> > > >
> > > >          S: Evidence removed.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >          P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> > > >
> > > >          S: DME volume set to more believable
> > > level.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >          P: Friction locks cause throttle levers
> > > to stick.
> > > >
> > > >          S: That's what they're for.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >          P: IFF inoperative.
> > > >
> > > >          S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >          P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> > > >
> > > >          S: Suspect you're right.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >          P: Number 3 engine missing.
> > > >
> > > >          S: Engine found on right wing after
> > brief
> > > search.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >          P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this
> > > one!)
> > > >
> > > >          S: Aircraft warned to straighten up,
> > fly
> > > right, and be serious.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >          P: Target radar hums.
> > > >
> > > >          S: Reprogrammed target radar with
> > lyrics.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >          P: Mouse in cockpit.
> > > >
> > > >          S: Cat installed.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >          And the best one for last
> > ..............
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >          P: Noise coming from under instrument
> > > panel . Sounds like a
> > > >midget
> > > >          pounding on something with a hammer.
> > > >
> > > >          S: Took hammer away from midget
> > >
>
>

[Dago]

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one; just some Reassurance  for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs.

Actually, there is no requirement for a college degree to fly a plane.  Some airlines hold it as a hiring preference, but there isn't any regulation requiring it.

To get an aircraft mechanics license, you have to document more training than you need for a commercial license.  

Commercial license - 250 flight hours, maybe at best half of that is training hours, the rest are hours of flight experience.  1500 hours for an air transport rating required to be an airline captain, and again, most of that is flight hours, less than one third or one quarter would be training hours.

A&P - 1650 documented training hours or three years experience (6000+  hours) working under the supervision of a licensed mechanic.

I have actually met professional pilots who have stated that it is easier to get an ATP than an A&P.  A&P is probably cheaper to get in the long run, but not easier by a stretch.

[Debonair]

flying is a hell of a lot easier than doing just about any M/X job

[Golfer]

I agree Debonair.

On the way down to PBI monday we had our overhead vents start misting water.  Normally this would be a "feature" to keep the flowers fresh, which were placed in the cupholder.  That was worth a $100 tip (50/50) from the pax thank-you.

Turns out the water separator wasn't separating anymore.  I didn't envy the guys who have to go crawling around to fix it.  I just left the trash in the airplane and drove home

Nice to be a driver instead of the line guy/cleaner/wrench muahahahaha:D

[Hangtime]

i can imagine the mold spores that system will be spewing in about 3 weeks.

legionaire airlines.

oh, what fun.

[Maverick]

Specialization is for insects. A truly rounded person should be able to both operate the equipment and fix it as well.

College is not needed to fly but there is by far more training in learning to fix them than what is mandated to merely operate them.

Old saw:

When pilots make mistakes, people die.

When mechanics make mistakes, people die.

[Rino]

I still wonder why Quantas needs a targeting radar, only about the
18 billionth time this list been posted.

[john9001]

i never saw a high school diploma fix a airplane or even a automobile.

[Dago]

Originally posted by Rino
I still wonder why Quantas needs a targeting radar, only about the
18 billionth time this list been posted.

Yeah, and the first 200 times this was sent around the internet it was an Air Force C-130.  Never was Quantas.  Probably all make believe anyway.

[Rino]

Not sure about the make-believe part.  In 1983 I was a weapons
control systems mechanic on F-4Es at Moody AFB.  I had a 4 year Weapons
Systems Officer write in the aircraft forms, Radar does not work in
O.F.F. mode.  Took me about 5 minutes to figure out wtf he was talking
about.

     The power switch had 4 "modes", Emergency, Operate, Standby and
OFF!  I decided not to enter could not duplicate malfunction in the forms,
so I asked the next WSO how the dar operated in off mode.  After a weird
look, he told me it worked fine in off.

     I then entered Replaced Stick Actuator in the forms and went back to
the shop.  It took the production supervisor 5 hours to find the fix and call
me on it


P.S.  Stick Actuator=Operator

[Chairboy]

A couple of problems.

First, the squawk list is funny, but that doesn't forgive the following:

1. Heavy quoting in place.  Take a second to remove the >'s, especially when they screw up formatting that heavily.
2. It's obviously not Qantas, those are military squawks.  Whiskey tango foxtrot?
3. The little misinformed jab at aircraft mechanics in the beginning is crap.  Any A&P has about a zillion times more training than a stick monkey like me.  It is 100% possible to get an ATP that has about 50 hours of training plus a few hundred hours of flying the exact same flight over and over again.  Is that a 300 hour pilot?  Or a 51 hour pilot?  According to the regs, it's a 300 hour pilot, but I know better.

[Kaw1000]

1. I posted it as a joke not to take a jab at anyone
2.Sorry if I offended anyone
3.you kids have to stop taking things so serious
4.Sorry if you all seen this already just thought it was funny
and wanted to post because it relates to Flying
5. I gotta say this......too many cry babys and critics in this forum.

[Dago]

Originally posted by Kaw1000
1. I posted it as a joke not to take a jab at anyone
2.Sorry if I offended anyone
3.you kids have to stop taking things so serious
4.Sorry if you all seen this already just thought it was funny
and wanted to post because it relates to Flying
5. I gotta say this......too many cry babys and critics in this forum.

The problem isn't with the posting of it, it is with the misinformation included in the original writing.  Some of us would prefer that people who don't know much about the realities of aviation not be given incorrect information to continue the spreading of wrong facts, lest we end up with a lot more beetles.  You know, people who think they know all about aviation but in realities don't really know much other than what a seatback looks like.

For what it is worth, Quantas has crashed.  The "squawks" were of a military nature, and as I pointed out earlier, it doesnt take a college degree to fly an airplane, even an airliner.  See the problem?

[Kaw1000]

What ever...again it was the jokes I though was funny...sorry I offended you and your big ol ego.not worth even talking about any more...your making a mountain out of a mole hill...

[Chairboy]

Actually, since you're the one trying to make it personal (for instance, the ego comment), it looks like you might be the one overreacting.  We just commented on a couple of netiquette and factual inaccuracies in the hope that you might learn something, but if you want to attack the messenger, I guess that's your perogative.