Was watching a show on the Discovery Channel, called Future Weapons, and was very interested to see the future of artillery. This NLOS (Non-Line of Sight) mobile artillery unit is capable of firing 155mm shells at a rate of 6-10 per minute, reloading and recalibrating its barrel for new trajectories all without any physical labor on the part of the operators. So quick is the reloading system that the unit can fire up to six projectiles, at varying trajectories and powder loads, so that all 6 land on the same target simultaneously.
Now, as impressive as this unit is, it doesn't really hold a candle to the MWIAB AH weapons system, first conceived in Russia in the early 80s, this technology can do the seemingly impossible. It can siphon up to 10 thousand dollars out of our joint bank account, then, upon discovery and subsequent confrontation, can drink up to three glasses of wine, in quick succession, consume some light cigarettes, and proceed to argue that it was all my fault--all in just over 45 minutes! This system, otherwise known as the My Wife Is A B***h, Anti-Husband unit, can systematically obliterate all existing bridges its foe has built with the outside world for communication and supply purposes, justify the act, and continue to leech off its target until the foe is all but wiped out. Amazingly, in the process of disabling both self-esteem and self-actuation elements of the enemy, the MWIAB AH weapons system will actually become physically and emotionally closer to its target, making itself seem like the only worthwhile and true thing in the target's life. When the target is at its weakest, this formidable weapons system will then go in for the kill, vanquish the enemy by sending him packing to a hotel, and hop a quick plane back to the motherland, a ghastly little Chihuahua in one hand and a 2 carat engagement ring in the other.
The only weapons system that can defeat the MWIAB Anti-Husband unit is the risky but effective BOS(Bottle of Stoli), .750 L, chilled to just below freezing.
