Originally posted by Ripsnort:
That's what I use to comfort 'environmentalists'...Mother Nature will take back her planet one day, nothing you or I do today will affect her 100,000 years from now. 
Actually, we use this thought to comfort ourselves each time we see some mindless bozo trash the environment
You see, we are like a cancer upon the earth and in my heart-of-hearts I'm sure Mother Nature has got some interesting tricks up her sleeve as to how to treat her ailment ...
Biggest question is this:
Would scientist/Gov'ts even bother to tell us if a big rock was on a direct collision course? We'd probably lose more people in the panic that followed a news report than the impact itself...so I would venture to guess that it will indeed be a 'surprise' to most people on earth.
... and this may be one of them!! That's gonna be on heluva barbecue, ain't it? But there's one consolation, at least: in the sage words of musical satyrist Tom Leher:
"I am reminded at this point of a fellow I used to know whose name was Henry, only to give you an idea of what a
individualist he was, he spelled it H-E-N-3-R-Y - the three was silent, you see.
Henry was financially independent, having inherited his father's tar-and-feather business, and was therefore able to
devote his full time to such intellectual pursuits as writing. I particularly remember a heartwarming novel of his about a
young necrophiliac who finally achieved his boyhood ambition by becoming coroner. ... (The rest of you can look it up
when you get home.)
In addition to writing, he indulged in a good deal of philosophizing. Like so many contemporary philosophers, he
especially enjoyed giving helpful advice to people who were happier than he was. And one particular bit of advice
which I recall - which is the reason I bring up this whole dreary story - is something he said once, before they took him
away to the Massachusetts State Home for the Bewildered.
He said: "Life is like a sewer - what you get out of it depends on what you put into it." It's always seemed to me that this
is precisely the sort of dynamic, positive thinking that we so desperately need today in these trying time of crisis and
universal brouhaha. And so with this in mind, I have here a modern, positive, dynamic, uplifting song, in the tradition of
the great old revival hymns. This one might more accurately be termed a survival hymn. It goes like this:
When you attend a funeral,
It is sad to think that sooner o'
Later those you love will do the same for you.
And you may have thought it tragic,
Not to mention other adjec-
Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do.
(But don't you worry.)
No more ashes, no more sackcloth,
And an arm band made of black cloth
Will some day nevermore adorn a sleeve.
For if the bomb [or asteroid
] that drops on you
Gets your friends and neighbors too,
There'll be nobody left behind to grieve.
And we will all go together when we go.
What a comforting fact that is to know.
Universal bereavement,
An inspiring achievement,
Yes, we will all go together when we go.
We will all go together when we go.
All suffused with an incandescent glow.
No one will have the endurance
To collect on his insurance,
Lloyd's of London will be loaded when they go.
Oh we will all fry together when we fry.
We'll be french fried potatoes by and by.
There will be no more misery
When the world is our rotisserie,
Yes, we will all fry together when we fry.
Down by the old maelstrom,
There'll be a storm before the calm.
And we will all bake together when we bake.
There'll be nobody present at the wake.
With complete participation
In that grand incineration,
Nearly three billion hunks of well-done steak.
Oh we will all char together when we char.
And let there be no moaning of the bar.
Just sing out a Te Deum
When you see that I.C.B.M.,
And the party will be come-as-you-are.
Oh, we will all burn together when we burn.
There'll be no need to stand and wait your turn.
When it's time for the fallout
And Saint Peter calls us all out,
We'll just drop our agendas and adjourn.
You will all go directly to your respective Valhallas.
Go directly, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars.
And we will all go together when we go.
Every Hottentot and every Eskimo.
When the air becomes uranious
We will all go simultaneous.
Yes, we all will go together
When we all go together,
Yes we all will go together when we go"
(for the actual tune, go to:
http://www.dp9.com/cool/hilary/Allgo.mid) Buhdman, out
[This message has been edited by buhdman (edited 05-11-2001).]
