I'm about to leave my house in Bethesda MD and drive for 3 hours, down to North Bethany Beach Delaware, to hang out with my dad at the folks' beach house. Just the two of us, mom's up in NY. My estranged, soon to be ex wife is thousands of miles away, taking a long, perhaps permanent break from me.
Spending a weekend with dad shouldn't seem odd, but to me, it is. Dad and have never really been too close. From my earliest memories, and even before them, he's been the classic tyrant. Always ambitious, always expecting more of himself and willing to let his relationship with all his family members pay the price. His attitudes have earned him a pair of heart attacks, but have also made him the most accomplished person I know, both professionally and intellectually. He's done just about everything he set out to do, accumulated more assets than he'd ever dreamed of, and all after he was 40 (we came to this country when he was 38). He'll be 63 in November.
He never asked much from anyone, except, of course, from your's truly. Rode me all my life, from early childhood, through adolescence, and into my 20s. ALways wanted more. Wanted me to follow in his footsteps and go into medicine. Wanted the Ivy League degree. I rebelled. Spent 6 years living 3000 miles away from him on the opposite coast, doing the exact opposite of everything I knew he wanted. Hardly talked beyond the perfunctory 'Hi, I'm alive, bye', every week or so.
And then, all the sudden, something changed. I didn't even realize that my going to hang out with him for the weekend was a first time event until he called just a few minutes ago to see if I'd left yet. He was soft, kind, and even when I got annoyed for a brief moment, he just calmed me down and told me not to hurry. This guy, who used to make my heart skip a beat every time I heard his car pulling into the driveway (he drove a diesel when I was a kid), is suddenly soft, approachable, even fun to be around.
I'm searching myself for a grain of fear or apprehension of the next 24 hours, and it's just not there. In fact, I'm actually looking forward to this weeked. Feeling respect, even just a hint of it, from the man I respect more than anyone is the best sensation ever.
What in god's name happened?
