Author Topic: Happy Fathers Day! (Read 189 times)

AWMac · « **on:** June 18, 2006, 01:45:52 AM »

Happy Fathers Day you Mutha's...

Raising kids are Great! Protecting them is even Better....

If you'er a Father with Daughters, you know what I'm talking about. Especially around the time the Daughters are 16 and it's Prom night...

Let me share a secret that works for me to the Fathers reading this....

There's nothing more gut wrenching to have a pimpled SOB that won't look you in the eye, hat on backwards and not remove his shoes in the house...knowing your lil girl is going to the Prom with "IT"...

I have fixed THAT problem for many years now... for you young Fathers that have no clue... Break out a pen and paper and sit, write... for the Mac is to reveal unto you things better tan a Chasity belt, a Bull Dawg with Rabies... My Daughters hate me for it but thank me later.

This is Given to you on "Fathers Day!"

First get an empty 5th of Smirnoff bottle and fill it with Water...
Break out the Mossberg shotgun and tear it down... have cleaning kit in view...
When foresaid loser enters the Home...Drink half of the Smirnoff water and not twitch...*must be done in full view of foresaid loser*

Piece back the shotgun, slightly look up from the table and greet him. Do NOT stand or shake hands...

Walk with your Daughter outside...as he shuts the door for her and walks to the front of the car reach out to shake his hand...*Throws the Daughter off* Mention to him "If my Daughter comes home crying or touched we'll talk like men then, do you understand me Boy?"

Worked for two Daughters so far....

Mac

And they say I'm crazy... pffft don't see it!

AWMac · « **Reply #1 on:** June 18, 2006, 01:56:53 AM »

I heard in Norway the Fathers just stick a piece of LuteFisk into the panties of the Daughter.... Nilsen help me out on this.... Is this true?

Mac

AWMac · « **Reply #2 on:** June 18, 2006, 11:54:22 AM »

Wait Nilsen is just recently married...

But I believe it is the Lutefisk in the panty thingy...Guns are outlawed there.

It's always been my rule... if "IT" smells like Lutefisk it just wasn't meant to be......But then again Nilsen had a fake curly beard and was a Ships Captain for a Day. HaaaaaR!!!

ewwwww....ifluff'n you can get past the smell, Lutefisk ain't half bad!

Mac

Nilsen · « **Reply #3 on:** June 18, 2006, 12:00:46 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by AWMac
Wait Nilsen is just recently married...

But I believe it is the Lutefisk in the panty thingy...Guns are outlawed there.

It's always been my rule... if "IT" smells like Lutefisk it just wasn't meant to be......But then again Nilsen had a fake curly beard and was a Ships Captain for a Day. HaaaaaR!!!

ewwwww....ifluff'n you can get past the smell, Lutefisk ain't half bad!

Mac

heheheh... were i put my lutefisk is none of your business

Guns outlawed? Everyone can get them here, and there are more guns in private ownership here (per capita) than in the US. Hear that lazs?

"NORWAY ON TOP OF WEAPONS LIST
(Nationen)
The UN has carried out a survey of firearms ownership in 15 countries in Western Europe and North America, plus Japan. According to the survey, Norway is one of the countries where per capita firearms ownership is highest. One in every three Norwegian homes has at least one firearm."

There are over 700.000 registered gunowners here

AWMac · « **Reply #4 on:** June 18, 2006, 12:38:53 PM »

Wasn't talkin about yer Guppy Nilsen.....

Nilsen · « **Reply #5 on:** June 18, 2006, 12:52:55 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by AWMac
Wasn't talkin about yer Guppy Nilsen.....

yes you were... you always are.

how did you do in that gay test?

rabbidrabbit · « **Reply #6 on:** June 18, 2006, 01:39:23 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by AWMac
I heard in Norway the Fathers just stick a piece of LuteFisk into the panties of the Daughter.... Nilsen help me out on this.... Is this true?

Mac

That would never work... Lutefisk is like catnip to Norwegian men.