Author Topic: *tap tap tap*  (Read 262 times)

Offline RTR

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« on: July 04, 2006, 09:16:37 PM »
Hello...is this on?

uhhh..hum!

A grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper says "what?  You have a drink named Henry?"

RTR
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Offline Nash

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« Reply #1 on: July 04, 2006, 09:25:42 PM »
A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just the first guy.

Bah-dum-crash!

A pirate walks into a bar, walks up to the counter and orders a beer. The bartender looks at him and says "Did you know that you have a steering wheel down your pants". "Arrgh," the pirate replies "It's driving me nuts!!"

Finally...

A guy who's the line supervisor at a pickle factory comes home one night and tells his wife, "Honey, I need to tell you, every day at work I have a terrible urge to stick my noodle in the pickle slicer."

The wife replies, "Well, you need to see a psychiatrist!"

So the guy says, "No no no, just pretend I never said anything, I won't do it."

She agrees to never mention it again but about a week later the guy comes home two hours early and white as a sheet.

"What happened?!?!" the wife exclaims.

The guy says, "Remember when I told you about wanting to stick my dick in the pickle slicer? Well, today at lunch I snuck off and did it...."

"WHAT HAPPENED???"

"Well, the boss walked in and I got fired..."

"No, I mean what happened with the pickle slicer?!"

"She got fired too..."

Offline DiabloTX

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« Reply #2 on: July 04, 2006, 09:28:10 PM »
Hehehe

Thanks for saving the thread, Nash.
"There ain't no revolution, only evolution, but every time I'm in Denmark I eat a danish for peace." - Diablo

Offline midnight Target

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« Reply #3 on: July 04, 2006, 09:39:45 PM »
One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem.
"Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What can I do about this?"

"Have you tried sandpaper?" Pinocchio hadn't, so he went to try it.

"Pinnochio," said Gepetto a few weeks later. "How is the problem work out with your girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend?" said Pinnochio. "Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper?"

Offline RTR

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« Reply #4 on: July 04, 2006, 09:50:27 PM »
Dang.. at least I was one upped by a fellow Albertan!

Nash, I took a 4.0 lb rainbow on a  #14 royal coachman the other day.
(20 minute fight!) #6 line touble tapered, was fun!
Going back out this weekend, but gotta check whats been hatching.

Cheers!

RTR
The Damned

Offline United

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« Reply #5 on: July 04, 2006, 10:36:09 PM »
Guy walks into a bar and orders twelve shots all at once.  The bartender is confused, but pours the drinks.  The man then starts downing the shots, one right after the other.  The bartender walks up to the man and says, "Sir, you're drinking those awefully fast, whats going on?"

The man replies, "Youd drink these this fast too if you had what I have."

"Well, what do you have?"

"Seventy-five cents."

Offline ROC

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« Reply #6 on: July 04, 2006, 10:43:33 PM »
Guy walks into a bar and says  OUCH




















:confused:  What?  That's funny stuff!!
ROC
Nothing clever here.  Please, move along.

Offline rpm

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« Reply #7 on: July 04, 2006, 10:55:00 PM »
A salesman checks into a hotel in Chicago. He asks the clerk if they have any working girls around there. Clerk replies "No, but we have Leon the dishwasher out back." Salesman says "No, I ain't into that" and goes to his room.

An hour later he calls the desk and asks "If I was into that, how much would it cost?" The clerk replies "$500." "FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS? Why so much?" asks the salesman.

"Well it's $100 for me and $200 each for the busboys that have to hold him down. You see Leon ain't into that either!"
My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Stay thirsty my friends.