Author Topic: Funny thing: body language and its importance. (Read 673 times)

StSanta · « **on:** August 30, 2001, 03:27:00 PM »

Well, no great revelations here: body language is sorta important.

I'm a skinny dude, 1.80m, 65kg (5 10, 145lb?). Usually when streets are crowded or like today there's some street party with live music and whatnot, I'm very nice and step to the side and let people pass if they need to. When I don't, I usually get a bump and either a surprised "oh, sorry" or an angry stare. This doesn't happen to my buddy, who's about twice my weight and around 2.05 tall. People move quite quickly when he's around.

Anyway, I decided to conduct a wee little experiment (I just love these social interaction experiments

). Decided to carry myself in a slightly different way; hands outta pockets, stomach in (not that I have much of a tummy with my weight

), chest out and, most importantly, I raised my chin just a few centimeters above normal. Walked a bit more slowly too.

Lo and behold, people seemed to take it as a signal of aggression. And most moved for me and not vice versa. Even worked with big dudes, although I was careful not to assume the posture when I passed the Hells Angels groups and their entourage. I like to experiment, not get hurt.

At any rate, it has intrigued me enoughto make me more interested in just how I *do* carry myself around people. Unfortunately I've waded through tons of the poor quality huggy toejame "psychological" books on body language. Anyone got a reference for a good one?

It's sort of like tricking people, in a way: making use of unspoken tricks. Sure, people will pick up on anything consciously if they're looking and trying: but in most situations in life that ain't the case.

Additionally, anyone else got an experience with stuff like this? Would be cool to compare

capt. apathy · « **Reply #1 on:** August 30, 2001, 03:41:00 PM »

i'm going to have to have my kid read your post. i've been trying to hammer into his head for years, stand/sit up straight head up shoulders back basicly walk act and talk as if you have respect for yourself and you will find others respecting you also. if you walk around slumped over and trying to hide from the world people will (maybe subconsiosly?) assume that you are used to being pushed around and they figure 'business as usual'.
basicly it comes down to that unless they have info to the contrary people will assume you are who you present yourself to be and i've found that generally you start to believe it too.

btw i'm no psyciatrist or anything but i do like to watch people react to new siuations, very interesting stuff

Kratzer · « **Reply #2 on:** August 30, 2001, 04:41:00 PM »

Actually... my father's masters thesis was on this very subject... some 30 years ago...

I'll pick his brain while camping this weekend.

Animal · « **Reply #3 on:** August 30, 2001, 05:09:00 PM »

Yes, recently Ive realized that eye contact is VERY important to get your way around people.

Body language can sometimes say more than your own words.

I believe my apathic expressions are always a plus, peple never know what you are feeling, specially good for negotiation

CyranoAH · « **Reply #4 on:** August 30, 2001, 05:41:00 PM »

Are ya talkin' to me?

Are ya talkin' TO ME??

Daniel, aka Cyrano

Tac · « **Reply #5 on:** August 30, 2001, 08:07:00 PM »

*PUNCH*

Works every time.

Just keep the Tazer handy

Maverick · « **Reply #6 on:** August 31, 2001, 12:56:00 AM »

Santa,

Yep you found out a hidden fact about interaction of mammals. It doesn't just relate to people either. Look at other primates and how they act. The same for dogs. There are several signals that indicate the "pack" status and it carries over. A more erect posture with exposed hands and direct eye contact is far more aggressive than the slouched shamble you are used to using. If you leaned forward while doing this and make hard eye contact (stare) it likely would be taken for a hostile intent posture. You might just get taken up on it too in a bar.

Experianced Cops are masters at watching people and determining threat status by body language. It works in reverse too. If you can use the posture to get what you want without the violence you are way ahead of the game. Slouching is a signal of lack of intent and weakness. In other words ya just don't mean what yer sayin.

Try some more experiments and watch people in crowds. It can be a bit fun.

Mav

Dune · « **Reply #7 on:** August 31, 2001, 12:59:00 AM »

Cpt, I was told often and early while growing up to pull my shoulders back, hold my head up and be a "straight Heard" (Something passed down through the family I guess).

mietla · « **Reply #8 on:** August 31, 2001, 01:07:00 AM »

Does farting in public count as a body language? It will clearly influence everyboy's behaviour, and it is clearly a "language"?

Did you test that Santa?

Ripsnort · « **Reply #9 on:** August 31, 2001, 07:39:00 AM »

Farting is a universal body language that basically says "Clear this area, you are all coming in too close to me".

Body language, and the way you present or 'carry yourself'..is the difference between being a victim of a violent crime, or being left alone, in a large metropolitan city.

blur · « **Reply #10 on:** August 31, 2001, 08:01:00 AM »

Pumping up your chest to impose your will on others is all well and good.

But a true “Master of the Universe” is invisible.

Tuomio · « **Reply #11 on:** August 31, 2001, 09:52:00 AM »

Watch people when they buy used cars. Theyre trying to hide their exitement at all costs. They try to be distant to the salesman and act like they would think "nice car, but..". But in their minds they scream "I want this car i want it! how much, can we negotiate, if not, i buy it anyway."

Of course, POS cars get the same public behavior, but this time its real..=) Thats what the salesman are trained to see.

If we speak of the hidden interactions between woman and man, THAT is really complicated and ancient. Not only the body language, but the new research shows feromones having a significance.

Ripsnort · « **Reply #12 on:** August 31, 2001, 10:10:00 AM »

LOL, my dad used to make it a sport to go onto carlots, dicker the guy down to a rediculous price, then walk away...he wasn't serious about buying the cars most times, he just loved to barter...a salesman for a large corporation for 27 years does that too you..anyway, learned alot of things from dad, thus, my good bargains when I shop for cars, boats, etc. I take my time, give them a price I'm willing to pay, "call me when you've met my price" attitude. "Never be in a hurry to part with your money, because someone else will want your money, and less of it"..thats my philosophy.

AKSWulfe · « **Reply #13 on:** August 31, 2001, 10:26:00 AM »

So farting is like a proximity mine?

In the back of your mind you are thinking "Alert! Someone getting close must emit warning gasses!"

Hell of a warning to tell someone to keep away....

-SW

ft · « **Reply #14 on:** August 31, 2001, 10:29:00 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by capt. apathy:
i'm going to have to have my kid read your post. i've been trying to hammer into his head for years, stand/sit up straight head up shoulders back basicly walk act and talk as if you have respect for yourself and you will find others respecting you also. if you walk around slumped over and trying to hide from the world people will (maybe subconsiosly?) assume that you are used to being pushed around and they figure 'business as usual'

Send the kid off to martial arts practise (not talking the competitionoriented ones here, weight on art). Does wonders for self-knowledge physically and mentally.

Cheers,
/ft