Author Topic: Stick a fork in me...  (Read 718 times)

Offline Rolex

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Stick a fork in me...
« on: July 14, 2006, 08:57:44 AM »
I'm done.

I'm done being a slave to all the marketing nonsense foisted on me by the food industry. I'm in my 50s and was raised in the first generation to be systematically chemicalized and processed with additives and preservatives. I have been fast fooditized, garbage fooditized, sugarized, trans-fattyized and MSG'd up to my eyeballs.

I was raised on hamburgers for 15 cents and cheesburgers for 18 cents. Coca Cola bottles for 10 cents (with a 2 penny redemption for the bottle), creme soda, artifically flavored BBQ potato chips, Twinkies and everything under the sun made from everything made in a mad scientists lab, formed into chunks, cubes, wafers and blocks in a factory somewhere.

I didn't have an epiphany because having an epiphany sounds like something people with dainty, extended pinkies do. Instead, I was introduced to an amazing thing called 'cooking' by my girlfriend.

Now, with a name like Rolex, you'd be right if you guessed that my past girlfriends (and ex's) have always been professional restaurant reservation queens. I think one or two actually had some kind of license or certification.

I never minded it too much before, but my girlfriend likes to cook. And I mean, really, really likes to cook. She cooks and bakes something new all the time. I've never been much of a cook. I'm a guy, so I grill. Ahar!

Peanut butter - even on the grill -  is cooking for me, so this has been an interesting eye opener. For instance, I didn't know that you could actually make bread! It doesn't have to come from a factory with chemicals and preservatives and flavor enhancers and stuff. You don't even need a bread-making machine, you just need a girlfriend, some flour and stuff and a rolling pin.

Now I've learned that amateurs can actually make bagels, rolls, cakes, pies, soups, casseroles, curries, pastas even complete meals from stuff that comes out or on top of the ground! She's great at making Japanese food, of course, but all the western foods I crave she makes from scratch.

I didn't make some conscious, cause-driven effort to stop buying or eating chemicals and goo wrapped in plastic and styrofoam masquerading as food. It just kind of happened that way since the beginning of the year. Every once in a while we'll go out to eat, but restaurant food is becoming less and less appetizing.

And I feel great! I'm eating more, lost some weight, enjoyed the food more and have more energy. I went through this Spring without all the misery from the allergies I've had every year I can rememeber. Was it the food? I don't know, maybe.

Anyway, this cooking stuff is good! And next month, I can get US beef again in Japan! Yeehaw! No offense to Aussies, but I don't think I could eat another piece of Aussie beef again, which is all we've had in Japan for a couple years.

But I sure miss Krispy Kreme donuts... I missed them so much that I looked into the franchise for Japan. Ever wonder what a Krispy Kreme franchise costs? You need a net worth of $30 million before they'll even talk to you.

I like Krispy Kreme, but $30 million?

It's a world gone mad.
« Last Edit: July 14, 2006, 09:00:33 AM by Rolex »

Offline lazs2

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Stick a fork in me...
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2006, 09:14:05 AM »
sheesh... I don't even really care about food that much but all my girlfriends have been great cooks .... The current one is mexican decent and can cook anything... if it doesn't come out perfect (very rare) she throws it out.

She, like most of my girlfriends is old fashioned.... has older values that I appreciate.   Knows both a mans and a womans place in the world and is secure in that.    Mid manager or less like most of my girlfriends.... not afraid to be a few pounds over "project runway"   no bones stick out.

clean, kinky and good natured.   the cooking thing is just the stuff most of these women carry with em.

She may not cook gourmet but.... no one has ever not gone back for at least seconds.  She does watch the shows and could probly cook anything imaginable but... my tastes are more plebian (who'd a thunk huh?)

She let's me be right about men things and I let her be right about women things.   I change the oil in her S10 and fix stuff around her house...

she cooks and cleans mine.

She votes how I tell her to.  She learned to shoot recently with a K22 masterpiece I bought her.

Never met anyone who didn't like her.   I don't have to make excuses for anything she says.   She is extremely attractive to me but maybe not to some others..... I have tried the opposite in the past.... gotten girlfriends that were attractive to others and embarrased the crap out of everyone and that way lies madness.


lazs
« Last Edit: July 14, 2006, 09:16:07 AM by lazs2 »

storch

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Stick a fork in me...
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2006, 09:17:31 AM »
they sound like keepers.

Offline lazs2

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« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2006, 09:26:47 AM »
what do you mean by "keeper"?

When she leaves she leaves.

lazs

Offline Nilsen

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« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2006, 09:30:16 AM »
Welcome to the world of good eating Rolex

Ive been fortunate enough (didnt always think so as a kid :D ) to have a mom and a gf that likes to cook. They both lean towards the healty stuff but with plenty of sidestepes into the less healthy foods.

When you get used to it then store bought, or fastfood food tastes like salt and fat. I enjoy that from time to time, but nothing beats a good home made meal.

After i turned 18 (+-) i even found fish! to be my favorite food (whodathunk it) ... Most kids hate fish.

Offline Mini D

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« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2006, 09:53:59 AM »
Lazs, give up. Nobody believes you're straight.

Badger...

My wife cooks up a storm too. I don't really care for much restaraunt food these days as the home cooking is usually better. I re-enforce her cooking confidence by bragging about cooking things like Jello and soup. The best meals I've ever had have been home cooked. No resaraunt has come close.

Though, there are quirks that you'll have to get used to. There will be no more mac-n-cheese like you've known it in the past. You'll get mac with three melted cheeses in a very thick sauce that is nothing like those sold in the box. They taste good, but they're not quite you were expecting. When the wife is away, I go with the Franco-american (now Campbells?) spagetti and kraft mac-n-cheese just to fondly remember the old days. Though, I did catch the wife eating some of the spagetti a month after her surgery (that had me batchelor cooking for a couple weeks).

Offline Mini D

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« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2006, 09:56:53 AM »
BTW... dad isn't that bad of a cook either. The place we stayed this week had a BBQ:


Offline Goomba

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« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2006, 10:20:55 AM »
Rolex...

Good read...very amusing. :aok

When I met my girl (who's been my wife for more than 17 years now), she could NOT cook.   Actually, the first time she offered to help me cook, she burned water.

She burned water !  I shiatsu you not.

I'd asked her to boil water for pasta, so she filled a pot and set it on the burner at high heat to boil.  Then, promptly forgot about it.  When I asked how it was coming, she ran to the kitchen...and I heard a call for help.

Not good.

I come in the room, and I see white smoke coming off the now burned-dry pot...so I quickly grabbed the handle to pull it off the burner.  As I lift the pot, the melted, red-hot bottom stayed attached to the burner, while the sides and handle came off in my hand.

That's right...she had welded the pot to the burner.:rolleyes:

Then, some years and a wedding later, she was abducted by my Sicilian grandmothers and taught the secrets of the Culinary Gods.

Now, I've traveled over half the world, and eaten at some amazing places, BUT...I still find that, in the end, I'd rather be home eating her cooking than anywhere else.  She's actually become very creative with cooking, and is always looking for something new to try.  Hell, she actually makes better sauce than my mother did - and I grow the tomatoes, basil and oregano in the yard, to boot.

Welcome to the world of real food!

Offline lazs2

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« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2006, 02:45:55 PM »
mini... that's a coincidence!  My gf made us salmon steaks this last weekend on the bbq.

Problem is that as usual... she made enough for 8 people.   It was Ok tho... I just put some in the microwave for a minute when I get home.... just finished the last of that bunch yesterday.

lazs

Offline Hap

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« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2006, 03:16:00 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by lazs2
She votes how I tell her to.  

lazs


Well, that's a relief.

hap

Offline rpm

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« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2006, 05:18:58 PM »
I'm a food slave to no one. Whatever I want, I can cook, bake, saute, grill, smoke or poach myself. I learned to cook at an early age out of necessity. Dad drove a truck and I was home alone all week. If I didn't make it, it didn't get made.

Having said that, there is something special about a woman making you dinner from scratch. It shows she cares enough about you to put forth the effort.
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Offline AquaShrimp

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« Reply #11 on: July 14, 2006, 05:37:38 PM »
I taught myself how to cook when I joined my high schools cross-country team.  I was trying to improve my performance.  

All my interests come together in cooking: Biology, history, health, culture.

Offline Eagler

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« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2006, 07:33:20 PM »
I think it is lazyness ... y so many eat out

both have full time jobs so they go out to eat then go back to their full time jobs to pay for the overpriced meals, that weeks daycare & gas then wonder why they are not getting ahead ...

cooking great food is the easy part, it is the clean up afterwards which is the pain ..
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Offline eagl

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« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2006, 01:34:06 AM »
Lazs,

K22... good choice for a first gun :)  That's what I learned on.  It's the only gun my Mom ever bought for my Dad, and it made a perfect "take the kids out and teach them gun safety" firearm.  Accurate as hell too...  I used to pop jackrabbits at 25 yds with it.
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Offline lazs2

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« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2006, 09:04:32 AM »
yep.... 1947 version of the K22.

RPM... I am a food slave to no one either.  I don't really enjoy eating out and I eat to live not live to eat.

I enjoy a good meal when it is in front of me but am quite happy to eat something out of a can or a bowl of cereal and something from a tree.

I can make a sandwich.   I can open a can or heat something in the microwave if I absolutely have to.

I certainly am no slave to a woman because she cooks well .... 90% of the women I have had cooked well.

The next one will too I imagine.

lazs