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Author Topic: Were Santa's elves a terrorist organization?  (Read 569 times)

Offline Toad

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Were Santa's elves a terrorist organization?
« on: July 28, 2006, 07:25:46 PM »
They certainly fit the profile.

Well?
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Offline Boroda

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Re: Were Santa's elves a terrorist organization?
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2006, 07:31:15 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Toad
They certainly fit the profile.

Well?


Not in Russian Federation. So far no Russian citizens were harmed by their actions.

Seriously, it's our govmt official position.
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Offline Shuckins

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Were Santa's elves a terrorist organization?
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2006, 07:40:49 PM »
Rumors of their terrorist activies are greatly overblown.

The elves were a peaceful and contented lot, united in a common goal to bring joy into the world.

That is until November of 2000, when Bernard attempted to unionize them.

Aside from a few old fashioned riots, which trashed the workshop, no elf ever strapped explosives to his midsection and made a martyr of himself...despite the widespread belief that martyrdom was rewarded with two dozen virgin pixies.

Reconciliation between Clause and his workers was facilitated by the establishment of a wage, increases in leave time to two days a year, and travel junkets to Mauritania and Cancun.
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Offline Meatwad

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Were Santa's elves a terrorist organization?
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2006, 07:49:51 PM »
They are teh EVIL!!!!
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Offline Elfie

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Were Santa's elves a terrorist organization?
« Reply #4 on: July 28, 2006, 07:55:00 PM »
This Elf was a terrorist, at least in AirWarrior where I met Santa in aerial combat. His Ki-84 vs my F4U. I killed Santa. No more climbing down the chimney leaving presents for children all over the world. :t
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Offline DiabloTX

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Were Santa's elves a terrorist organization?
« Reply #5 on: July 28, 2006, 08:10:10 PM »
If it weren't for those damned Elves we'd be ruling Middle-Earth right now.


Regards,
Sauron
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Offline Meatwad

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Were Santa's elves a terrorist organization?
« Reply #6 on: July 28, 2006, 08:12:59 PM »
Are Keebler elves related to them?
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I am No-Sausage-On-Pizza-Wad.
Das Funkillah - I kill hangers, therefore I am a funkiller. Coming to a vulchfest near you.
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Offline Shamus

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Were Santa's elves a terrorist organization?
« Reply #7 on: July 28, 2006, 09:45:25 PM »
Maybe not the elves, but homland security is planning on reactivating the Dew Line to try and bring down their fat terrorist leader when he tries to sneak in this year.

shamus
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Offline Donzo

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Were Santa's elves a terrorist organization?
« Reply #8 on: July 28, 2006, 09:54:07 PM »
Not sure about the elves.

I always wondered about the Oompa Loompa's...they freaked me out.  No telling what they did when they weren't making candy.

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Offline nirvana

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Were Santa's elves a terrorist organization?
« Reply #9 on: July 28, 2006, 09:57:14 PM »
No but Santa was.  If you have ever heard the song "The Night Santa Went Crazy" by "Weird Al" Yankovic, you'll completely understand.  It's a tragic tale of the reindeer being blown to smithereens and cooked by a flame thrower, elves being damaged, horrific.



:t
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Offline lukster

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Were Santa's elves a terrorist organization?
« Reply #10 on: July 28, 2006, 09:57:49 PM »
No blood for toys!
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Offline xrtoronto

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Were Santa's elves a terrorist organization?
« Reply #11 on: July 28, 2006, 10:09:40 PM »
Of course they are terrorists. We in Canada view them as an organization that must be stopped. Some might call them 'freedom elves', but those people are just plain dumb.

It's their ideology that we all find so offensive. They appear as a constant threat and until everyone of them is dead, there will be no peace. The more of them we kill, the more there seems to be.

We condemn in the strongest terms the Santa elves and their backers and supporters, the Keebler elves. The other big player in this axis of elves is the Pillsbury Dough Boy, who is continuing the work on his microwave oven technology, insisting it is for peaceful purposes only.

We want all our allies to freeze the assests of these terror groups and support us in the fight against terror. You are either with us, or you are with the elves.
« Last Edit: July 28, 2006, 11:53:51 PM by xrtoronto »
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Offline majic

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Were Santa's elves a terrorist organization?
« Reply #12 on: July 28, 2006, 10:16:11 PM »
"axis of elves"


:lol
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Offline eagl

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Were Santa's elves a terrorist organization?
« Reply #13 on: July 28, 2006, 10:24:12 PM »
You're forgeting their heritage of slavery.  They have the right to act poorly because their ancestors were enslaved.  Their current status as card-carrying elven union members doesn't make up for the suffering their great great great great grandparents wen through.

Bigotry, that's what it is.  How about a little tolerance.  Better yet, how about making everyone who's ancestors weren't enslaved pay up some cash reparations to people who's ancestors WERE enslaved.  Let's set this right, and think about the elven children!
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Offline GtoRA2

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Were Santa's elves a terrorist organization?
« Reply #14 on: July 28, 2006, 10:52:48 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by eagl
You're forgeting their heritage of slavery.  They have the right to act poorly because their ancestors were enslaved.  Their current status as card-carrying elven union members doesn't make up for the suffering their great great great great grandparents wen through.

Bigotry, that's what it is.  How about a little tolerance.  Better yet, how about making everyone who's ancestors weren't enslaved pay up some cash reparations to people who's ancestors WERE enslaved.  Let's set this right, and think about the elven children!


You are such a government propaganda mouth peace!

You know there are no elf children, the CIA saw to that.  One airdrop of poisoned pixie sticks and the fields were carpeted with dead Elvin children!


This is a war of revenge!
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