Jesus Nash, you're such a Canadian.
Originally posted by Nash
What's up with this?
There's this salesman that comes around every few days to pick up new work, shoot the **** etc. He's an okay guy and all, and funny as hell.
No, he's not an "okay guy". He's a bully and an ******* and should be treated as such.
The problem is..... is that he inches up and the next thing ya know, he's like right in your face. A foot away. Twelve inches or so. That seems to be his comfort zone. That's the distance he needs to truly operate from.
Bugs the heck out me, so do people that come up on the street and start talking at me. They inflict themselves on me because they are self-centered and don't give a **** if I want to be party to it.
So what do ya do? I nod politely, and casually take a step back.... but.. BAM! He's right back in your face. I step back, he inches forward.
You don't nod politely and casually take a step back. You look him right in the eye and tell him he is crossing the boundary. For example with talk inflicters I interupt and say, "Excuse me, I don't want to have this conversation.". They usually look put out, but **** 'em they where putting me out with any due consideration.
or someone who has no sense of boundaries. Or something.
If he has no sense of boundaries, it's because people are "polite" and don't tell him when he is crossing them. Mores the pity.
On Friday morning I told him: "Hey man, back the **** up - yer freakin' me out."
It didn't even phase him. He kinda laughed, I stepped back, and he continued to tell his story, and the next thing ya know he was right back in my face like nothin' happened.
So even if he had no sense of boundaries he mocked your discomfortature, and proceded to continue his behaviour (instead of apologising and adapting his behaviour. He's ****ing with you Nash.
You've used rational discourse to try and influence him (informing him his behaviour that you find discomforting and requested he stop...although somewhat colloquially). The next step is to attempt to influence him through threat of sanction. "I've asked you once to stop getting in my face and you have ignored me, apparently you don't give a crap about how it bugs me. If you don't stop getting in my face I'll have to....". I'll leave what the sanction is up to you. I don't know your full relationship with this dork, maybe simple self-exclusion will work. Maybe you have to work with this guy. Maybe you can influence his sales if he is selling product to your company. Request and different rep, who knows.
Or you can be "polite" to this guy who is acting like a jerk and apparently doesn't give a **** that it bugs you. However, I have found that most people being "polite" really aren't, but are instead are ascared of standing up for themselves.
