Author Topic: Close talkers (Read 646 times)

RTR · « **Reply #15 on:** July 30, 2006, 12:30:30 AM »

Jeebus Nash....been there done that.

Just piss on his shoes while he's wearing'em. He'll figure out right away he's to close and probably never go near ya again.

Heck, it worked for me once!

RTR

DREDIOCK · « **Reply #16 on:** July 30, 2006, 12:55:27 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Nash
Ha - that's interesting Drediock. More on that in a sec....

But first - lets not get carried away folks.... It's an annoying personal trait that many people share - not anything that keeps me up at night. I aint intimidated or frightened - it's just a weird sort of pain in the arse.

Totally interesting, though, that this thing seems to be common with sales guys. It didn't even occur to me that this was some kind of technique. It's also interesting that this is a cultural thing as well. I'm gonna find out what the deal is with that on Monday and report back to y'all.

Back to your thing, Dred, I remember reading this article that someone did on Clinton. The journalist spent 45 minutes interviewing him, and was completely blown away by the fact that from the initial handshake to the exit handshake, Clinton didn't break eye contact a single time.

45 minutes straight eye contact. He said Clinton was perfectly lucid, answering every question down to the most miniscule detail....

....yet his eyes were like lasers pointed at the guy.

He tells of watching Clinton drinking from a glass of water, and Clinton's eyes were still looking at him through the bottom of the glass as he drank.

I don't even know what to make of that.

Well in Clintons case he was probably trying to figure a way to get them under his desk

I usualy dont do it intentionally and I actually have to conciously think about it not to do it.
It unnerves people.

Though I do admit I will occasionaly do it on purpose.....
Because it un nerves people LOL

but I'd say 99% of the time I am completely unaware I am doing it

DiabloTX · « **Reply #17 on:** July 30, 2006, 01:10:23 AM »

Holy crap Nash, of ALL people I figured you'd studied body language a little than what your cards show.

Eye contact is the number 1 way of getting and keeping someone's attention and it also conveys, ahem, truthfulness. That's why the "He looked me straight in the eye and told me..." came from, but I figure you know that.

An easy way to tell if someone is lying is eye contact or lack thereof. Typically if someone is lying they look away, it's a natural response. HOWEVER, if you are familiar with this and look some straight in the eye at all times, even through the bottom of a glass, it indicates over-compensating of one's point or message. Take that as you want. Do some research, you'll see. Body language is critical to communication. It's fun stuff to learn about.

nirvana · « **Reply #18 on:** July 30, 2006, 01:37:34 AM »

I used to have a friend that used to demonstrate things on me. We could be playing hockey and he'd talk about a kid hitting him in the chin with a stick and "He went like this and (as he s'lices my throat') did this". This kid was also a very enthusiastic liar. A few weeks before I moved from that neighborhood I told him to back off. Granted he was 2 years older in school then myself, we were the same height so that was all it took for him to calm down.

My dad does the same thing Dred does with his eyes, i've been told I do it too. I guess most people will alternate looking into another person's eyes, but my dad and myself don't. Not sure, it's freaked a few people out.

Rolex · « **Reply #19 on:** July 30, 2006, 01:43:09 AM »

That is not true in all cultures, DiabloTX. Applying that impression throughout the world is a major cause of failed business alliances and lost opportunities. Just sayin'...

Leslie · « **Reply #20 on:** July 30, 2006, 01:48:28 AM »

The guy doesn't try to crush your hand or not let go after a couple shakes does he? Maverick gave good advice. I dunno what to say. You shouldn't have to be uncomfortable at the workplace. Dunno if you guys are good friends or not.

From a purely defensive point of view, Mav is right on. Gotta be friendly, but you don't have to take it either. Especially at the workplace.

Les

Jackal1 · « **Reply #21 on:** July 30, 2006, 06:57:43 AM »

Pull out the ole Buck , open it and start cleaning your fingernails.
Works every time.

DREDIOCK · « **Reply #22 on:** July 30, 2006, 07:42:04 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Leslie
The guy doesn't try to crush your hand or not let go after a couple shakes does he? Maverick gave good advice. I dunno what to say. You shouldn't have to be uncomfortable at the workplace. Dunno if you guys are good friends or not.

From a purely defensive point of view, Mav is right on. Gotta be friendly, but you don't have to take it either. Especially at the workplace.

Les

Are you a female?

Purely curious

Did a job for a guy a few months ago whos handshake was like that.
Normally no problem.
but 20 some years ago I broke my hand and every once in a while when the weather is right it becomes sencitive.
Just had to tell him that fact straight up.

Leslie · « **Reply #23 on:** July 30, 2006, 07:56:42 AM »

That's kinda a serious question in here Dredlock. I'm not a female. I'm a wuss.

Until I started taking karate and I wasn't a wuss for 25 years. Now I'm back to wuss status unfortunately.

Les

Leslie · « **Reply #24 on:** July 30, 2006, 08:35:34 AM »

BTW, we actually had a lesson on how to deal with someone not giving up the handshake. Turn wrist (snap it downward...but subtely to disengage) and withdraw the hand and step back (or turn and leave.) Keep eyes on if turning.

Les

Leslie · « **Reply #25 on:** July 30, 2006, 09:19:40 AM »

Dredlock, I don't blame you buddy.

Since you asked...fair is fair...though it may not be gentlemanly, I have always wondered if Nash was female. I dunno, just the logic. It's different.

Now I need to go ahead and make my will before it's too late.

Les

DREDIOCK · « **Reply #26 on:** July 30, 2006, 10:49:18 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Leslie
Dredlock, I don't blame you buddy. Since you asked...fair is fair...though it may not be gentlemanly, I have always wondered if Nash was female. I dunno, just the logic. It's different.

Now I need to go ahead and make my will before it's too late.

It was the whole "workplace" comment. Not the handshake.
Usually a statement I've heard women make.
Most men I know take the

Godfather
attitude

No offence

Leslie · « **Reply #27 on:** July 30, 2006, 11:52:31 AM »

I just said that because my workplace is no nonsense. I'm a bohemian artist.

Les

lukster · « **Reply #28 on:** July 30, 2006, 11:59:33 AM »

I've been around many people that tried to be intimidating. Your best defense against that sort of behavior is don't let on that they are bothering you in the least. Someone gets in your personal space, don't flinch. You're already breathing the same air as them so what're you afraid of? Don't be.

moot · « **Reply #29 on:** July 30, 2006, 12:20:01 PM »

Draw a line on the floor, or come to work wearing a giant clear plastic bubble or something..
He doesn't sound aggressive or intimidating, just overzealous. If he keeps his cool despite you speaking your mind, I think it's got pretty good comic relief potential.