A few services jokes...

[-raxx-]

Spend any time in the Armed Forces and you hear a few jokes.  Some funny depending on the situation some just poking fun at the ruperts.  Add what you find...

Q) What's the difference betweeen the Army and the circus?
A) The tents are bigger and you don't have to salute the clowns!

The Navy callenged the Air Force and the Army to a rowing race, (similar to the Oxford and Cambridge college races), and were soundly thrashed by the Air Force.  After such a humiliation the Navy setup a board of inquiry and afer a 4 month investigation came up with the following reasons for the loss.
There was no clear chain of command on the vessel and no incentive for the crew to row fast and beat the Air Force crew.  
The reccomended solution was to have a Captain of the rowboat.  Under the Captain would be a Steering Officer with two Assistant Steering Officers.  A Navigation Officer would be needed along with a Meteorological Officer.  A rating was needed to do the actual steering and of course the rowing crew would remain at one, (the same as the year before).  To raise morale all officers on the crew would be given smart looking jackets to wear and extra leave prior to the event.
The next time they met the Navy felt it had the race in the bag and oddly lost by an even greater margin.
Another board of inquiry convened and recommended a new command structure and bigger bonuses for the officers but year after year the Air Force kept beating them.
The Army in the meantime are getting closer to finding out why the oars leave divots in the ground =)

Spotcha in the Air

[Nilsen]

lol

[ASTAC]

Top officers from the 4 services were arguing over which service had the most balls....

The Army General called over a young private. "Son go stand in the path of that oncoming tank."
"Yes sir" said the private and proceeded to get run over.

"Now thats balls" Said the General.

The Airforce General said " Thats nothing, watch this. Airman Airhead get over here!"

The young airman quickly ran iover and popped to attention.

"Son go inspect the engine on that running F-22"

The Airman promptly poked his head into the intake and was sucked in/

"Now thats balls" The General said.

"Yeah, well you ain't got nothing on the Marines" Said the Commadant of the Marine Corps.

"Private! Go run into that minefield!"

The private did, and got blown up before he made it 10 feet into the mine field.

The Cheif of Naval Operations just laughed.

"You guys want to see balls? Well come with me."

The four of them went out to Naval Station Norfolk and made their way up to the flight deck of one of the carriers stationed there.

"You see Seaman Schmardas painting the top of that 100 foot  mast? Well watch this." The CNO said.

"Hey Seaman! Undo that safety harness and jump down here!"

The seaman looked at the Admiral, Gave him the finger and said " F@ck you Sir!"

Tha Admiral smiled and said to the others "Now THAT'S Balls!"