I feel your pain man. I felt the same way when I lost my 66 Mustang. Glad you are ok.
Sucks they didnt arrest her, but then I dont know what the laws are there. Here its a felony to leave the scene of an accident. There it may just be a ticketable offense. Alot of times cops have their hands tied on what they can or cannot arrest someone for.
I doubt you'll get much out of the chick, even if you get her into a court room and the judge finds for you 100%. They can issue a judgement, but they cant force her to pay. However, you may have grounds to sue the owner of the car. If he can afford to be sugar daddy to her, maybe he can afford to help replace your car. Just a thought. Besides, you'd hurt her alot worse by hitting her at the source of her support than by trying to take anything from her personally.