Author Topic: FAA Profiling  (Read 216 times)

Offline Furball

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FAA Profiling
« on: September 18, 2006, 12:00:51 PM »
FAA PROFILING:

FEDERAL AVIATION ADMINISTRATION TRANSPORTATION SECURITY SCREENER ATTITUDE ASSESSMENT …

To insure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winning former state Governors.

In accordance with this policy, Transportation Security Screener applicants are being asked to take the following test, which will ensure that employees do not harbor hidden biases that could lead to unfortunate assumptions:

--- In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, Israeli athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:

a. Olga Corbutt
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwartzeneger
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

--- In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

--- During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

--- In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

--- In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered in his wheelchair and thrown overboard by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davy Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

--- In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a U.S. Navy diver was murdered by:
a. Captain Kid
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

--- In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

--- In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

--- In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary Clinton
c. The World Wrestling Federation
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

--- On 9/11/2001, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed and thousands of innocent people were murdered by:
a. Bugs Bunny, Wile E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd
b. Florida's Governor Jeb Bush
c. Mr. Bean
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

--- In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

--- In 2002 four French journalists, including one woman, were dragged from their cars near the Pakistan border with Afghanistan, taken behind some rocks, and shot to death by:
a. Gang Green's front four
b. Barney
c. The Smashing Pumpkins
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

--- In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonny and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

--- American Airlines Flight 63 from Paris to Miami on December 22, 2001 had a passenger with a ‘Shoe Bomb’ who tried to blow up the plane but was over powered and captured by passengers was:
a. A distraught Al Gore gone radical 1960’s hippie mental
b. Monica Lewinsky who said she was tired of hearing Bill play the Saxophone
c. Donald Rumsfeld
d. Richard Colvan Reid a.k.a. Tariq Rajah a.k.a. Abdel Rahim, a typical useless low life cowardly radical Muslim jerk-- caught and convicted of this crime

--- In May 2004 American Businessman Nicholas Evan Berg was captured in Iraq and beheaded by:
a. The French Foreign Legion using a guillotine under direct orders from President Jacques Chirac
b. A wild band of crazy Japanese Samurai Warriors
c. A Philippine Truck Driver who rig ran out of control
d. Committed by Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the leader of an Islamist (Muslim) terrorist group which is part of al-Qaida operating inside Iraq

Now, please review your answers according to the following key:

‘D’ – as in all answers are ‘D’

If you answered any of the questions incorrectly, please go to the following link and immediately apply for an airport screening position ... http://www.tsa.dot.gov/
I am not ashamed to confess that I am ignorant of what I do not know.
-Cicero

-- The Blue Knights --

Offline moot

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FAA Profiling
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2006, 12:05:23 PM »
Eerily similar to final exams I've taken at ASU...
Hello ant
running very fast
I squish you

Offline john9001

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FAA Profiling
« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2006, 01:00:07 PM »
i hate hard tests, i got about 50% right, is that good enough to pass, do you grade on the curve?