Thanks for the responses,
Everything spins up normally, only there was no post last time I tried. The speaker I have didn't match the pin configuration on this motherboard, so at the time I didn't have it plugged in; although it is ready to be used now, if there's no doubt I'm not frying anything the next time I turn it on.
Yes, the CPU's square plug is in its place, the extra plastic square of 3 pins (from the large 20-pinner) which is supposed to go to the PCI-E card (none here, onboard chipset is what's used) is left alone.
So was I supposed to plug in the PCI-E's (3-pin IIRC) square plug anywhere near the motherboard's integrated gfx chipset? That doesn't sound right

I tried again with only 1 stick of ram, and no HDD, and it didn't work either.
When I get back to it in a few hours, I'll double check all the connections and try floating it, I guess.
Would 22A on the +12V line be normal for a 580W PSU? I have no multimetre with me, but that's what the webpage specs say.
I'm having a string of bad luck with computers, despite taking every precaution (static discharge etc), so I may just let a pc graveyard shop diagnose it...
Any other ideas?