Men Are Happier

[DREDIOCK]

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress £5000. Tux rental-£100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

 

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is £8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

[ROC]

Trying too hard.

It's much simpler than that, We get Chicks, but They get us, of course we are happier.

[megadud]

[dmf]

Originally posted by DREDIOCK
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress £5000. Tux rental-£100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

 

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is £8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

This is your lucky day theres just too much to reply to one at a time, so you only get one generic smartarse comment, here it is
............................. ....simple things for simple minds........................ ........

[dmf]

Originally posted by ROC
Trying too hard.

It's much simpler than that, We get Chicks, but They get us, of course we are happier.

( can't pass this one up )

You get "chicks" and we get you, gee, we should get a user manual so we can figure out what the hell is wrong with the man we get ("stuck with")

[ROC]

Can't pass this up either.

You get "chicks" and we get you, gee, we should get a user manual so we can figure out what the hell is wrong with the man we get ("stuck with")

Leave it to a Chick to assume that Just because they don't have a manual and can't figure us out that there Must be something wrong.

All we do is fiddle around, punch a few buttons until we get it working.  If it doesn't work, well it was fun trying












Oh, I am so going to pay for that one

[dmf]

Oh yes your gonn a pay for that one
Here we go.

We need the manual to figure out whats wrong with you cause you are all broke, in some way, shape, form, or fashion. Speaking of fashion heres a hint plad shorts and a green shirt are NOT acceptable in public, Speedos went out with Elvis.
Now for a little more, if youd tell us whats wrong with you we could fix you and not need a manual, but then again you don't communicate that good with anything except other Men. which is "male bonding" we communicate with another woman you get excited like a dog and assume were lesbians.
Yea we need a manual you can call teh book " how to live with that walking ball of fur "

[Neubob]

Men have to live with women.

[DREDIOCK]

Originally posted by dmf
This is your lucky day theres just too much to reply to one at a time, so you only get one generic smartarse comment, here it is
............................. ....simple things for simple minds........................ ........

Ummm Was something I got in the mail and posted it here.

Seems obvious to me it was written by a woman.
If it were written by me. or any other man. The term most used in it would be "We,"  or "our", not "your".

Still want to apply that comment?

[ROC]

LMAO

if youd tell us whats wrong with you we could fix you

OK, Guys, sorry, but I'm going to give up the "secret"  I can't help it.

Here you go, Ready?




When we say "Nothings Wrong"   we Mean It.







Really.   Nothings wrong  And, the Real Secret,














this is gonna hurt....






I do apologize guys, but it's a small forum, won't change the world....










If "Nothings Wrong" that just means lifes OK and we are comfortable, not out of touch, it's OK to be "just fine"  Honest, and, it's OK if You are "just fine" also.   Guys have spent a few hundred thousand years hunting and being hunted, trying to stay alive while defending our camps.  It's built into the genetic code, it's Instinct, it goes Far Beyond any social improvement fad the 70s churned out.  We are Instinctively On Edge, On Gaurd, Ready to Kill or Die protecting our Cave.  Don't Sleep, Don't Relax, something out there is going to eat you or your kids, Find Them, don't blink, don't slow down.

Now, think about this.  If we are So Secure and Content that we can Fall Asleep, Snore and Relax around you, overcoming Thousands of Years of Instinct, in Total Comfort, You should think of yourself as a GODDESS that you have broken down that wall.

Broken?  Nope, just "ok" with things.  That's Huge, not "broken".

[dmf]

Originally posted by DREDIOCK
Ummm Was something I got in the mail and posted it here.

Seems obvious to me it was written by a woman.
If it were written by me. or any other man. The term most used in it would be "We,"  or "our", not "your".

Still want to apply that comment?

Ok wel she had more time on her hands than I do to write that out

[dmf]

Originally posted by ROC
LMAO

 

OK, Guys, sorry, but I'm going to give up the "secret"  I can't help it.

Here you go, Ready?




When we say "Nothings Wrong"   we Mean It.







Really.   Nothings wrong  And, the Real Secret,














this is gonna hurt....






I do apologize guys, but it's a small forum, won't change the world....










If "Nothings Wrong" that just means lifes OK and we are comfortable, not out of touch, it's OK to be "just fine"  Honest, and, it's OK if You are "just fine" also.   Guys have spent a few hundred thousand years hunting and being hunted, trying to stay alive while defending our camps.  It's built into the genetic code, it's Instinct, it goes Far Beyond any social improvement fad the 70s churned out.  We are Instinctively On Edge, On Gaurd, Ready to Kill or Die protecting our Cave.  Don't Sleep, Don't Relax, something out there is going to eat you or your kids, Find Them, don't blink, don't slow down.

Now, think about this.  If we are So Secure and Content that we can Fall Asleep, Snore and Relax around you, overcoming Thousands of Years of Instinct, in Total Comfort, You should think of yourself as a GODDESS that you have broken down that wall.

Broken?  Nope, just "ok" with things.  That's Huge, not "broken".

So you sit there with nothing wrong becaus etheres nobody trying to eat your kidds or invade your cave?
No wonder theres nothing wrong with men, heres a hint dinosaurs are all dead, nothings going to eat you, (DREDIOCK, don't even say it)

I must have been married to the wrong man cause the only thing in his genitic code was to "do it" with sombody young enough to remember her first date

[john9001]

"You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes"..

her:: "your not going to wear THAT shirt are you?"

me:: "why not?"

her:: "it's wrinkled"

me:: "it is?"

[dmf]

And you wonder why you get ""the look"

[DREDIOCK]

Originally posted by dmf
So you sit there with nothing wrong becaus etheres nobody trying to eat your kidds or invade your cave?
No wonder theres nothing wrong with men, heres a hint dinosaurs are all dead, nothings going to eat you, (DREDIOCK, don't even say it)