I was a victim of a vast right-wing conspiracy to re-elect Rick Perry.
I woke up Tuesday morning, voter registration card in hand, prepared to cast my vote for Kinky. Unfortunately I had an 8am appointment with my cardiologist in Ft. Worth as a follow up to my little hospital visit a couple weeks ago. No biggie, in/out in less than an hour and vote on my way back home.
Here's where the conspiracy kicks in. After 8 minutes on the treadmill they stop the stress test and the Doc admits me straight into the hospital. Less than an hour later I'm laying on a table watching him perform a double angioplasty on my heart!
Turns out the night before the election some republican dirty trickster flunkie clogged 2 of my arteries! 1 was 97% blocked, the other 100%. I had almost no blood getting to the back of my heart muscle. If you've never had an angioplasty imagine running a piece of bailing wire thru your vein from your upper thigh (right next to the family jewels) to your heart. They inflate the baloon on the end of the wire and squish all the BBQ leftovers against the arterial wall. Then they run another wire up there with 2 tiny coil springs (stints) they leave in place to keep them open.
Just as I feared, The Kinkster did not win. I can't help but wonder how many of his supporters were secretly clogged to prevent them from voting!:noid
Seriously tho, It was a huge wakeup call for me. I knew I was out of shape, but had no clue I was that close to dying. I actually started having a heart attack while on the treadmill. Luckily, I went to a Doctor in Ft. Worth instead of following up with one of the local horse killers. My cardiologist could'nt believe the local hospital discharged me the last time.
I also got a huge lecture on my diet, alcohol consumption and smoking. The next few weeks are going to be great fun as I quit smoking after 35+ years. But, the upside is I'm alive and able to bask in the thrashing the Republicans took at the polls. Rumsfeld getting canned was just icing on the cake. Life is good afterall!:)
