Originally posted by DREDIOCK
Did it go something like this?
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Holy Jesus! What is that? What the **** is that? WHAT IS THAT, PRIVATE PYLE?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, a jelly doughnut, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: A jelly doughnut?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How did it get here?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, I took it from the mess hall, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Is chow allowed in the barracks, Private Pyle?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, no sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Are you allowed to eat jelly doughnuts, Private Pyle?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, no sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: And why not, Private Pyle?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, because I'm too heavy, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Because you are a disgusting fat body, Private Pyle!
Actually it was more like this:
Standing in formation for weapons inspection.
"Pvt Whiting remove the bolt assembly for that rifle."
(GULP) "YES DRILL SERGEANT!!"
(Pull rear retaining pin, swing uper receiver away from lower receiver, pull charging handle, fumble with bolt assembly, drop bolt assembly into dirt, look at DI with dumb expression on my face, GULP again)
"Well pick it up Pvt Whiting!!!!"
"YES DRILL SERGEANT!!!"
(Hand bolt assembly to DI)
(DI inspects bolt assemblt for dirt, it is covered in dirt at this point)
(DI hands bolt assembly back to me)
"Put it back together Pvt Whiting."
"YES DRILL SERGEANT!!!"
(DI finishes weapons inspection on the rest of the platoon, walks back to the front of the platoon to "talk" to us)
"You people did pretty good, but since Pvt Whiting failed to properly clean his weapon you people are going to pay for his mistake. Everyone in the grass. Pvt Whiting come over here and take a seat. The rest of you...front leaning rest....MOVE!!!"
"DRILL SERGEANT...PVT WHITING REQUESTS PERMISION TO JOIN HIS PLATOON, DRILL SARGET!!!!"
"SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!!!! THE REST OF YOU START PUSHING!!!"
(spend the rest of the day telling everyone in my platoon I'm sorry so I don't get killed)
About the worse day of my life in boot camp, but everyone got it at least once so not that big a deal.