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Author Topic: Beaver Hunting  (Read 1021 times)

Offline SHawk

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Beaver Hunting
« on: December 06, 2006, 10:42:08 AM »
A 90-year old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child.What do you think of that?"
 
The doctor replied, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day he was in a hurry and picked up his umbrella instead of his shotgun by mistake. When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver. He raised his umbrella and went "bang, bang, bang," and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?"
 
The 90-year old said, "I'd say somebody else shot the beaver."
 
The doctor said, "My point exactly.":D
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Offline Airscrew

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« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2006, 10:49:38 AM »
Your thread title is misleading and although the joke is old its still funny :lol ,
over all I am left with a sense of disappointment :(
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Offline eh

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« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2006, 12:40:17 PM »
A 90 year old deaf guy goes with his young wife to see the doctor.Every time the doc asks him a question, the old dude turns to his wife and shouts "What did he say?" and she answers by shouting in his ear. By the end of the physical the young woman is getting real tired of all this.

Then the doctor says to the old boy: " I need some samples from you: a fecal sample, a urine sample and a semen sample"

The old boy turns to his wife and says "What did he say?"

And the frustrated young woman shouts: " THE DOCTOR WANTS TO SEE YOUR UNDERWEAR!"
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Offline airspro

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« Reply #3 on: December 06, 2006, 03:55:00 PM »
hehe good ones :rofl
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Offline mussie

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« Reply #4 on: December 06, 2006, 05:58:40 PM »
Three mice are in a bar telling each other how tough they are.

The first mouse says "When I see a mouse trap I set it off and catch the bar with my paws, do a few bench presses and take the cheese"

The second says "Yeah well when I find Rat poision I take it home and put it in my coffe for some extra BUZZ"

THe third mouse walks away from the table and the other to laugh saying "Too Tuff for ya eh buddy..?"

He yells over his shoulder "Nah I gott go screw the CAT...."


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A little old lady goes to the doctor and says "Doctor I keep passing wind but no one can hear it and it does not smell"

"Well..." said the doctor before being cutt off by the old lady.

"In fact I have done three of them whilst sitting here talking to you" she said with a grin and little giggle

The doctor writes here a prescription and passes it over...

"Will this stop me passing wind ?" She asks

"No" says the doc "but it should help with your sense of smell... Now lets get that hearing looked at."
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Offline BowHTR

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« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2006, 08:45:42 PM »
Nice ones mussie!!
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Offline Kazaa

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« Reply #6 on: December 07, 2006, 07:11:46 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by eh
A 90 year old deaf guy goes with his young wife to see the doctor.Every time the doc asks him a question, the old dude turns to his wife and shouts "What did he say?" and she answers by shouting in his ear. By the end of the physical the young woman is getting real tired of all this.

Then the doctor says to the old boy: " I need some samples from you: a fecal sample, a urine sample and a semen sample"

The old boy turns to his wife and says "What did he say?"

And the frustrated young woman shouts: " THE DOCTOR WANTS TO SEE YOUR UNDERWEAR!"


:lol :lol :cry :cry :rofl :rofl Great one.
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Offline ColKLink

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« Reply #7 on: December 07, 2006, 10:12:33 AM »
heheh shawk........ok,......3 ww1 marines were on "advance infantry training" training exercises after bootcamp, ...the  corps, being short on rifles, had the marines "pretending to fire a rifle, and say "bangity , bangity, bangity".... the first 2 marines tried the concept, but were immediatley "killed"...... the 3rd marine being resourceful, and seen the demise of his buddys, hollers "tankity tankity tank!",....and managed to survive the battle....... something like that ;) as you were,....:aok  3rd assualt amphibian bn. 3rd mar div, rein. fmf pacific. .......... old ,.joke .
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Offline The Fury

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« Reply #8 on: December 07, 2006, 11:01:19 AM »
:rofl :rofl :rofl  Great post guys
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Offline airspro

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« Reply #9 on: December 07, 2006, 04:01:14 PM »
Man got a new deer rifle and took it across the street to show his friend . Now his friend is looking out the scope to his buds house and says >

"I can see the mailman having sex with your wife"  

He replys >

"OH my god , shoot that B***CH in the head , and while your at it shoot that sobs "thing" off too !!!

The neighbor says  > "I think I can do them both in one shot"
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Offline Killjoy2

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« Reply #10 on: December 07, 2006, 08:18:23 PM »
I hear the Bishops found a new use for sheep.

Wool!
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Offline Dace

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« Reply #11 on: December 07, 2006, 11:00:22 PM »
Duck walks into a bar says to bartender, "Got any grapes?"
Bartender says "No sorry, we don't have any grapes."
Next day rolls around, duck walks into the bar says to bartender, "Got any grapes?" Bartender says, "No! we don't have any grapes". Next day rolls around, duck walks into bar says to bartender, "Got any grapes?" Bartender says "No! We don't have any grapes and if you come in here one more time and ask me for grapes, I'll nail your feet to the floor!!"
Next day rolls around, duck walks into bar says to bartender, "Got any nails?" Bartender says "NO!" Duck says "Got any grapes?"
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Offline jaxxo

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« Reply #12 on: December 07, 2006, 11:02:21 PM »
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Offline Dace

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« Reply #13 on: December 07, 2006, 11:04:42 PM »
I've always wondered what u loo like.:D
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Offline Keiler

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« Reply #14 on: December 08, 2006, 02:04:15 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by ColKLink
heheh shawk........ok,......3 ww1 marines were on "advance infantry training" training exercises after bootcamp, ...the  corps, being short on rifles, had the marines "pretending to fire a rifle, and say "bangity , bangity, bangity". *snip*
 .


I know it like this:

WW2, Army short of rifles sends soldiers to war still. "When an enemy soldier appears, just yell `BANGITY BANGITY BANG!!`, and hell will drop dead" the Sgt tells them.
Shortly after, an enemy soldier appears in front of one of our non-rifled guys. He yells "BANGITY BANGITY BANG!!", the enemy soldier drops dead and doesnt move. Same with the next enemy, and the next.
A while later another 4 enemies appear, our guys yell "BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY BANG!!". Nothing happens at all...
"BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY!!!!!" Nothing!
The four enemies yell "TANKITY TANKITY TANK!"

:D
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