"I saved up and bought a mini-fridge, filled it with 36 cans of Mountain Dew and 4 sleves of Oreos"
I have no idea what an Oreo is, but I know Mountain Dew because it sold in the UK a few years ago, and I was at computer university at the time, and university students have a thing for mind-speeding substances.
Either you are now really overweight or (more likely) you are a stick-thin nervous-looking grown-up man who smokes constantly. Do you have any regrets?