Perhaps we could force them to play the intro? They cannot go into any arenas until they complete it?
I too have gotten some stupid questions, "OMFG WHO SHT M3??/?" and "HOW DO I TALK???/??" But what annoys me most is capitalization and bad punctuation. I annoy them with the whole "Lets try this again. Rephrase your request in lower case" "omfg how i bomb stuff?" "Now lets try grammar" "how do i bomb stuff?" "Close enough" and I try to be helpful and take them on runs. Fortunately I have found two kids who are good, they listen, and ive managed to teach them the basics of level bombing, but the vast number of people whose questions I try to answer, dont care enough to take the time and do things right.
Also I hate the play-by-plays. Ill anounce my intentions if I plan to do something like bomb TT, to see if there are any objections, but I hear "Im taking off" "Im flying" "I see a bad guy" "Im chasing the bad guy" "Im shooting the bad guy" "OMFG IM DED!!!1!!" "Save ME!" "SEND THE RESCUE CREW!" "WERE is the rRESCUE CREw?!?" and the like. I think there should be this tutorial, with DEFINATE emphasis on proper chat etiquete. I am always happy to help, but it makes my life easier if the kids im trying to help dont have be started at "Proper capitalization and gramar". I cannot understand half of what they are saying!