Filth Interviews Hitech (well sorta)

[oakranger]

 

[Gloves]

Fluffy?  Here kitty kitty.  Here kitty kitty.   

[TonyJoey]

  One of my favorite threads of all time.

[xthecatx]

 

[Lye-El]

Brought back from the dust bin. December 2008.

[Corrs]

all my poor little smiley friends were replaced by the red X box of death

[sunfan1121]

no matter how many times i read this thread it never gets old.

[macleod01]

Ive got it saved on my computer, just in case anything happens on the boards! 

[Denholm]

OFFICIAL REPORT


Victim:
Mussie

Date of incident:
April 23, 2007

Type of incident:
Kidnapping

Possible motive for incident:
Reporting confidential information

Details:
On April 23, 2007, mussie was last spotted explaining details about a local business' secret project. Sources report mussie was exposing negative side effects of technological upgrades within the business' software structure. Apparently he encoded the business' secret information into public posts placed onto the business' website. On the day of the last sighting, mussie did not properly code this information making it apparent he was leaking confidential information.

Suspects:
It's suspected the local business hired individuals to extract him for questioning.

[mike254]

MUST have part 10!!!

[stickpig]

In one shot
 
Filth Interviews HTC
Part 1

Hello everyone, this month I had the chance to interview the man himself..... HiTech.

I travelled to the new office's via P51, I knew that I was close when I found myself being Vulched on landing at Dallas airport, climbing from the wreckage of the old war bird I took the time to hold up a Black sign with "Nice Kill Ya Big Vulch-Tard" written in 70 point white Tahoma font before climbing into Skuzzy's 2006 Lexus IS250

I was mildly embarrassed as I said hello to the Skuzmister only to find Carrie at the wheel. I asked where Skuzzy was as I apologised to her for the mistake and she politely pointed to the rear seat where Skuzzy was furiously working the keyboards of five laptops simultaneously. "Working on network issues I asked". Skuzzy grunted and motioned his head towards Carrie who enlightened me by saying "He is actually moderating the current BK threads".

Pulling away from the fire trucks and the burning wreckage, the furious typing in the back seat momentarily stopped, I saw Skuzzy briefly look out the back window, he returned to his typing pausing only to say "Carrie would be be so kind". She replied with a node in the rear vision mirror and then asked me to pass her bag which was at my feet. From it she pulled a small object that I thought was a dark green apple put it to her mouth and then threw it out the window and up in to the air "what was that I asked ?" "Grenade" she casually replied .

The WTF? expression on my face must have been clear as she again pointed to the back of the car, my confusion as to how a small yet lethal explosive device would help Skuzzy in he efforts was short lived, for behind us the Vulch-Tard was flying low over the runway attempting to up his rank with a GV kill on Lexus. Carrie's timing was perfect, the grenade exploded bringing the Vulchers short flight to an eventful end....

        To be continued


Filth Interviews HTC
Part 2

As we arrived at the hallowed grounds to the chants and yells of a protest crowd, I saw that they were almost all women...

"What's going on here ?" I asked

"AH widows" Carrie replied "They tried for a class action suite, but all the Lawyers are busy playing AH".

"Oh" I said "is it safe to get out ? They look awfully angry"

"Don't worry, HiTech told them to stay off the property, or he would give there partners free life time accounts"

I made a mental note to send the missus here later. 

Carrie bought the car to a stop and motioned me to wait before getting out.

"I think I had better prepare you for what your going to see in here" Carrie said

"Why ?" I asked

"Well with CT and the arena changes the guys are under a lot of pressure at the moment"

"Yeah I thought they would be, I was surprised that HT agreed to the interview"

"We all were, Just keep in mind that they are all under a lot of pressure please"

"Sure Carrie will do" I said with a smile

Skuzzy climbed out of the back with all five laptops stacked upon each other but with deft agility he still managed to keep tapping away at the one on top, its lid still open. Amongst all the protesters and my trepidation from Carries warning I was still over come with excitement, I was here I was actually... THUNK ... falling to the ground.....

A short while later I found myself waking to Carries voice "Real sorry about that" she said "But super lost 5 hours work to a layer bug, He sorta threw the monitor out the window and it sorta landed on your head...".

"Ah no problem" I replied "Just glad it was an LCD and not a C.... " I stopped mid-centance, walking towards me was Pyro I had to blink at what he was carrying over his right shoulder it looked like an AK-47, Pyro stopped infront of me, I glanced at Carrie and she put her finger to her lips silently telling me to say nothing.

"So your here to interview HT ?" he said

I stood, holding out my hand I replied "Yeah I am really excited top be here"

Pyro looked at my hand and with a friendly yet somewhat maniacal grin said "I wont shake your hand at the moment, you know gun grease and all"

"Yeah no problem" I said as  I involuntarily released a nervous chuckle

"What's you BBS name" he asked.

As I replied Pyro pulled a small black notebook from his pocket and started to flip through it

"Well you not on the list, that's good"

"List ?" I enquired

"Oh its nothing, just wanted to know if I should be getting the cleaning kit out for Betsy here, but  I guess I wont be needing it today"

Carrie stepped forward and said "Come with me, we'll get you a coffee and biscuit while you pull yourself together" she led me to a small nicely furnished lunch room "By the way don't mention Pyro's.. Um... toy"

"Its not loaded.... is it" I asked

"Well that depends on how many threads he has read today" she sighed and almost to herself she said  "We go through a lot of monitors here"

"Oh !" I replied meekly as I began to wonder if I should postpone the interview to a less hectic date...

To be continued

"Perhaps I should come back later..." I suggested to Carrie

"HT should be ready soon, so just try to relax and enjoy the coffee" she replied

"How do you keep from going lala Carrie" I ask making polite conversation

I was struck with fear as I heard the words "Oh God" escaped carries Mouth almost simultaneously a voice from down the corridor yelled "Right that's the it... your on the list". followed by what sounded frighteningly like a magazine being loaded.

"Its ok Pyro" Carrie called back "he want talking about the plane that must not be named"

"What do you mean by the plane that must not be named" I asked in a hushed whisper

"You said the nick name of the plane that must not be named" she replied under her breath

"What " I asked as it dawned on me "Oh you mean the LA....."

"STOP!!!" Carrie cut me off  "Look Pyro is a real nice guy, but if you say the name of the plane that must not be named, Betsy will be needing cleaning today " you stay here while I go calm Pyro down.

I stood and went to the window, at least the view was nice, trees, flowers, a monitor sailing through the air... "What have I gotten myself into?" I thought.

Someone enter the room I turned, it was someone I had yet to meet, as he walked past me to the fridge, I saw his eyes were red and by the look of him I doubt he had slept much in the last week... There was something about him, something subtle that told me It had to Waffle....

Perhaps the fact that although dishevelled (and possibly in need of a hot shower) the bounce in his step gave me the impression that his red eyes and sleepless nights were not the result of stress but of the enthusiasm you experience when you start a new job, or perhaps (and I go out on a limb here)  it was the words "Yo Daddy Superfly" on the paper taped to his back...

[stickpig]

Part 4

Closing the fridge he walked over to the window next to me and stood looking out

"Hi" I said

He  acknowledge my presence with a curt nod and as he continued to look out the window, he looked like a man lost deep in his own thoughts he looked into the gardens and park across the road examining the tress and shrubs.  Having recently seen his work on the new terrains I assumed that he was looking for inspiration or studying their forms and colours.

"I know you out there" I heard him say, more to himself than to me.

"Pardon ?" I said now thinking that it was stress and not enthusiasm as I first assumed.... "are you ok ?"

"Your not going to get me..." Again He spoke his thoughts allowed "No.... you wont get me a third time"

Carrie appeared back at the door to the coffee room and motioned me over to her. Outside the room I asked Carrie what was wrong with Waffle

"He's been like that since the incident" she said "We try not to make a deal of it"

"Incident...?" I asked

"Yes" she replied "It was all over the BBS" she sounded very concerned.

"Sorry but I must be missing something" I said

She looked into the room and continued "Waffles never quite gotten over that day and now he's always looking over his shoulder waiting for the third strike..."

"For who...? " I asked starting to REALLY wonder just what the hell I had gotten myself into

Carrie looked me straight in the eye, took a breath and said "For JB88..." 


Part 5 "Dealing With Management"

"Is HiTech ready ?" I asked

"There's been a bit of a delay" Carrie replied

She had one of those I should not have done it but it was fun looks on her face....

"Delay...?" I asked "I thought he was here already....."

"Well he is here..... " she smiled " Here in Dallas at least..."

"Really..." I replied "Is that so ?" 

"Yeah.... But the plane he was flying is in lots of little pieces all over the runway"

Her grin was getting bigger and she was started to chuckle.

"Apparently he had to ditch after someone blew him up at the airport when he was landing"

The way she rolled her eyes as she said landing made me chuckle

"He said that the car the grenade came from was surprisingly a lot like Skuzzy's"

She was laughing hard now, but then it clicked... I must have gone red in the face because Carrie asked

"What's wrong..."

"HiTech Vulched me damm it" I said with all the grace of tree year old throwing an "I want my lolly now." fit...

"Yeah and we blew him up " she replied,

Which surprisingly made me feel a lot better.... I looked back into the lunch room and thought it might be best if I just left Waffle to the windows I asked Carrie if I could meet Superfly, she was suddenly serious...

"You want to see super..?" she said "No I dont think you do"

"Well I really would like to see the man behind the monitor... " I smiled with a chuckle

"Oook" she replied obvesly not impressed with a bit of monitor humor "Just go up the stairs to the second floor "

"?... which office" I asked but she was already walking away

"Oh Trust me you cant miss it... " she called over her shoulder "If you need me I'll be waiting in the first aid room"

If that was not enough to put the wind up me, She then said someting else as she dissappeared back into the main office at the end of the corridoor...

I could not make it out but I heard Pyro Laugh... and it scared me... it was a "You augered trying to vulch me laugh "....

To be continued

Part 6: Its Just Super To Work Here

And so wondering what Carrie meant by "Oh Trust me you cant miss it... "  and trying not to wonder what she meant by "waiting in the 1st aid room..." I climbed the stairs, at their top was a corridor that extended to the right and left. To the left I saw the corridor did turned to followed the line of the building..

As none of the doors I could see struck me as being Super's, I decided to see what was around the corner...

I found the lights around the corner had failed, the only illumination was the glimmer of light that leaked from below the door at the end.... I began to walk towards it and in the pitch black dark I heard a scrunching sound coming from my under my shoes, pulling out my trusty ZIPPO I shed some light on the situation and knew that I was on the right track.

The floor, walls and even the ceiling were covered in hundreds of sticky post it notes which to my amazement each had the same thing written on it

"Yo Daddy Superfly"

I did not know what was I going to find at the end of the corridor, behind that door, and I was not totally sure I wanted to find out, Deciding that discretion is the better part of valour, I slowly turned and began tiptoeing back from where I had come... The crunching post it notes echoed around me... And the more I tried to keep quiet the louder they got...

I felt the need to break into a run as behind me I heard the door opening, but it was too late...

"Hey hows it going..." I heard from behind.."You the guy interviewing HT today..?

My throat dry I turned and found that all I could muster in response was to a croaky "Yes..."

"Well come on in" he said "Just let me get this light first"

Super reached up and flicked the switch, the fluorescent lighting snapped into life flooding the corridor with all its thirty five watts

"CRAP" said Super "They did it again"

For what seamed like the hundredth time today I felt confused....

"So these aren't yours then ?" I asked indicating the post it notes

"No there not" said Super " This would be the work of HiTech and Skuzzy"

"HiTech and Skuzzy ?" I asked

"Yeah HiTech, Skuzzy and anyone else they can rope in, its not the first time, you should have seen my car the last time I drove to work"

"Oh" I said, "why on earth would they do this"

"Honestly you put your signature on a few planes and you never hear the end of it" he replied

"HiTech's been.... delayed" I said my concern now subsided "and I was hoping to meet the man behind the monitor so to speak"

"Sure am sorry about that " he replied looking a little embarrassed "Sorta blew my stack earlier, lost a lot of work to a dam bug... "

"Ah not a problem" I said "Could I come in and see what your working on...."

"Sure not a problem" he said waving me in

I entered the office stopping momentarily to remove a few rouge post it nots that had hitched a ride on my shoes. In side the walls were covered in paintings, photos and technical drawings of aircraft.... on the shelves of a large book case stood numerous plastic models...

"Do you use these for reference" I asked picking up a B-29 model.

"Therapy" he said "I find it relaxing to build them, I've made hundreds since I started working here..."

"There's only about twenty here" I said "What do you do with the rest give them away, take them home...?"

"Blow em up.... " he replied

"...?" My concern began to return

"Like I said.... Therapy" he chuckled

I thought it best to change the subject....

"These bugs must have cost you a lot of time and effort" I said

"And monitors he replied" with a grin

"Yeah" I said rubbing my head "Has Skuzzy been able to fine the cause"

"After what you saw in the corridor do you think I am going to let him near My PC" said Super "Hell its not even connected to the network"

"Well yeah fair enough, but what if its something simple like an issue with RAM...?"

Moments after finishing my sentence there was a thump from the next office and a tapping noise started coming through the wall... It was regular and getting louder with each beat...

"Would you hold on one sec" he said and walked to his desk, he picked up the phone and dialled an extension...."

The tapping stopped momentarily and almost immediately started again....

"It ok buddy" said super "No Mate its all good, he was talking about Random Access Memory, Yeah I'm sure mate just relax... Well do lunch ok"

Super put the phone down and the Tapping died away.

"Ok what just happened" I asked

"The tapping was Sudz"

"Sudz ?" I asked still confused

"Yeah he's replied to so many collision threads over the years, that he mind sorta reboots anytime he hears the word RAM, he ends up on the floor in the foetal position rocking back and forth, the tapping was his head hitting the wall in the office next door..." he replied "For some reason he still picks up the phone though"

[stickpig]

Part 7: What Goes Up Must Come Down

The first aid room span as I lay on the bed....

"I tried to warn you" Carrie said as she passed me a second icepack.

"Don't worry Carrie, I am going to listen to everything you say from now on" I said, the ice packs cooling the bumps now residing on both the back and top of my head

"I hope so" she replied "By the way HiTech's here, he arrived just after you... "

"Just after I found out who my daddy is..." I said cutting her off and trying to make light of the situation. "To be honest I still feel a little woozy, do you think he would mind if I just lay down here for a few minutes."

"No not at all" she said with a grin "just call out when your ready and I will take you to his office."

She left turning off the light and closing the door behind her. As I lay there in the darkness I found myself running through the last 15 minutes... 

Thinking back on it, I suppose I should have kept my mouth shut...

Thinking back on it, I suppose the new trees really are quite vivid and life like...

Thinking back on it, I suppose the fact that Super suddenly went quiet was a big sign that I had stepped on his toes...

Thinking back on it, I suppose I should not have stood, looking out the only open window in his office. Suggesting that the new trees would look better if the were the same tones as the ones across the road in the park.

And yes Thinking back on it, I suppose when he said "Ya think so, why don't you take a closer look"

Well I guess I should have ducked...

Yet as I slid from the roof and fell past the front office windows into the large and rather well thorned rose bush below, I still could not believe that he threw his monitor at the back of my head....

"Well " I thought as I extracted myself from the rose bush "at least I now know what Carrie meant" And to be honest as I stood there regaining my bearings I was less bothered by the rose thorns and more bothered by the sight of Pyro standing at the windows pointing and laughing...

Carrie the HTC angel that she is stood at the front door with an "I tried to warn you" look on her face. It was the same look my mother had given me after I had fallen off my friends bike when I was 12...

"Come on" Carrie called "We better get you patched up and put some ice on that bump."

Still a bit dazed I followed the sound of her voice, well I would have but Pyro was laughing so hard I could barely hear her and as I began to walk away from the rose bush, the monitor Super had used to express his displeasure at my Suggested Improvements to his work and Waffles work finally slid from its precarious perch on the roof landing squarely on my head....

I fell to the ground in a shower of shattered liquid crystal and from my grassy vantage point I saw Pyro run to the window, For a second I thought he was worried, but then he held up a hand written sign

Superfly <--- Owns YOU

Before he collapsed into an hysterical heap on the office floor.....

And so as I lay there spinning in the darkness of the first aid room, scratched from head to toe and possibly concussed to a mild degree...

All I could say was  "BLOODY ARTISTS....!"

[stickpig]

Part 8: Project CT

I awoke to the creaking door.

"Are you ready to see HiTech" Carrie asked

"Yes thanks" I replied

Hopping off the bed and putting the ice packs in the sink I followed Carrie to HiTech's office, After everything that I had been through I was still feeling excited... No... wait... I was feeling light-headed..

The hallway had a definite spin to it

"You sure your ok" asked Carrie eyeing me suspiciously

No I was not feeling all that well but figuring that the sooner the job is done the better (Better for my physical and mental health that is) I managed to fake my way to HiTech's office.


"Five by five" I replied

"What ?" she said

"Sorry, I meant all good"

We stopped at the door to HiTech's office, Carrie politely knocked opened the door and waved me past.

Inside HiTech sat behind his desk, Hung on the walls were charts showing flight model data, photos, paintings and Framed Blueprints of aircraft.

Behind me there was a click as Carrie closed the door.

HiTech stood and holding out his hand said "You've had quite an eventful day I hear"

I shook it and replied "Yeah, its been.... Interesting to say the least"

"Please take a seat" he said as he took his own "Where would you like to start"

We spoke about the history of HiTech Creations, how he, Pyro and Yankee had left Warbirds after "Creative Differences" with Wild Bills view of WB's future (Ok the man was a Tard), he told me how he developed the 3D User Interface (The clipboard) which we still have today and how he and Pyro had approached Superfly, Natedog and Ronnie about leaving WB and joining them to form HiTech Creations…

I asked him what he saw for the Future of Aces High, he smiled and said Although the Arena's will always be part of AH, the CT Project is going to be the future...

"Combat Tour ?" I said

It felt like the room grew slightly darker, a cloud passing over head perhaps.

"Yes... The CT Project is the future" he replied

Now don't ask me why but I felt that something was a-miss... Perhaps it was the way he seamed to drift off whilst speaking of "The CT Project...

"What do you see as the major issue that stands in the way of the future development of Aces High

HiTech smiled and closed his eyes, I think he was looking for the right words, but his thoughts were interrupted as the phone rang and HT answered it

"Yes..." he said "Ok I will be right there"

"Would you mind waiting here a few minutes" he asked

"No not at all" I said "Is something wrong"

"I just need to resolve an issue"

HiTech left the room closing the door...

Now I have never been good at waiting and I soon found myself examining the paraphernalia on the walls, and whilst looking closely at the framed blueprint of an FM2 I happened to notice a folder sitting on top of a filling cabinet... On the front was a Label Project CT and under neath AI Phase

I could not help but take a look and I casually picked up the folder and began to read, Inside dear reader was something far more a miss than any of us could have imagined...

     Project Client Termination
   Artificial Intelligence Phase

   TOP-SECRET NOT FOR PUBLIC RELEASE

Artificial Intelligence [AI] now
responding to combat flight conditions
as per specifications.

These specifications include but are not limited to:
1- Completion of primary ACM's with controlled
random error factor.

2- Randomly responding to being shot down
by smack talking.
NB:Current smack talk macro pool still
needs fleshing out

3- Simulated restricted field of vision to replicate
Human situational awareness 

4- Random acts of stupidity to replicate being Human

Summary
We are very near being able to replace
the human players with AI Pilots.
We have only to provide the AI with an
source of income Project CT can finally be
implemented.

Suggested income includes Utilising
Voice recognition and speech engine to
allow AI to perform phone based Helpdesk
support. Dell and HP have already expressed
an interest in this service.


Another cloud passed over head and The room again got darker.

I almost jumped out of my skin when from behind HiTech spoke

With a James Bond bad guy tone he said "You really are having an interesting day aren't you"

Dam I had not even heard the door open....

To Be Continued

Comming soon Part 9: The Man Who Knew To Much


Part 9: The Man Who Knew To Much

I was screwed, HT was between me and the door, he was stroking a big white cat that purred loudly as it lay cradeled in his arms.

“This will make a great April fools joke HT” I said trying to bluff my way out of the situation

“It would make a fine joke” he replied as he walked towards his desk “If in fact it was a joke”

“Ha good one Dale” I said forcing a laugh rather pathetically

“Please Mr Filth” he said as he took his seat “Refrain from playing dumb with me”

I knew the bluff was about as point less as straffing Tiger’s with the BB’s on the Hurricane …. and as I accepted this I became angry

“How on earth could you replace us HiTech” I said

“Please Mr Filth, Take a seat“ he replied

With out really thinking I sat opposite him, falling into the seat under the weight of the situation I had found myself in.

Placing the cat on his lap he opened his top draw and pulled a 12 year old bottle of Cragganmore Single Malt Scotch along with two glasses.

“Drink Mr Filth“ he asked

“Yeah” I replied and then with a sad chuclke “Shaken not stired”

“You don’t shake or stir Scotch Mr Filth”

“Yeah well You don’t take the players out of Aces High” I replied

With a frown he handed me the glass, I eyed it suspiciously

“Oh don’t worry, its quite ok” he said The bond villan voice was now starting to creep me out as did the Cat which looked at me, hissed and then looked back to its master for his approval in defending him…

“You asked me before” he paused to sip his scotch and scratch the feline under its chin “you asked me what stood in the way of the the future of AH… Do you know what that is”

“A mad man and his five man army” I retorted

“Really Mr Filth lets be civil” he took another sip “What stands in the way is the players…”

“How can you say that, with out us its just another empty Warbirds arena We make the game damit”

HiTech started laughing, and yes it was a Bond villan laugh of the highest order and a cold chill ran down my spine.

“Let me show you something Mr Filth”

He reached into his draw again and tossed a small cd case over to me, I opened the zip and as I read the labels a foggy memory of taking a Red pill washed over me.

“Are you shocked Mr Filth ?"

“No this cant be.” I was shaking my head in disbeleif

“It true Mr Filth… It has been for quite a long time”

I knew then that I had to escape with the evidense, the community had to know the truth….

Almost as if it knew what I was thinking, the Cat hopped onto the floor walked over and sat next to me, it seamed to be guardng the space between me and The door .

“And now Mr Filth it is time to say goodbye…”

HiTech reach under the edge of his desk and pressed a button, to the left of me a trap door opened in the floor….

“Arghhh Crap” He said, no more Bond villan voice “The cleaner moved the chair again…”

I laughed and said “Well so much for your Cat”

HiTech shot up from behind his desk and screamed “Fluffy Nooooooooooooo !!!!”

I knew this was my only chance, I jumpped up and dove over the open pit, I ripped the door open and ran into the hall way…

From behind HiTech yelled… “Stop him he knows too much…”

To be continued


Comming Soon Part 10 Fluffy's Nine Lives.
Dont Worry, It wont take weeks this time... And Yeah I know... So much for being the final part....

P.S. Enjoy... Hope I aint lost my touch.

[Plawranc]