Ack-Ack,
Interesting proposals. However, I'll counter with the one I prefer.
Shoot anyone who doesn't stand in like like my taiwan-born wife, her parents, my great great great grandfather, my great great great great grandmother, and everyone else who respected the laws of the country they were entering and attempting to become citizens of.
And learn to speak damned english. Any resistance to that deserves deportation because it shows a deliberate insistance to avoid becoming American in their heart.