Send this:
"I propose to help animals by starting a Barbeque restaurant, then poorly preparing the food. The animals that give their lives for this will save countless more as the customers of my restaurant decide to give up on meat in disgust after consuming pork ribs that are slightly overcooked, chicken that was cooked without the skin and is kind of dry, and beef brisket that has a touch too much salt. The needs of the many saved animals will outweigh the needs of the few killed for this demonstration, and the long term benefits will result in a world free of cruelty."