Balance between work and drinking

[Bodhi]

Boroda, hang in there man.  It can and does get better.  As it was said before, put one foot in front of the other and the worm will turn.

[Hap]

Originally posted by Boroda Final question for people who are over 30: did anything like this happen to you?[/B]

Yes.  And that was 20 years ago.  I began living for myself, my enjoyments, my own pursuits and pleasures --basically the lies that gained creedence from about 1970 on.  Those deceptions did not exist with the same force and popularity prior and certainly not during my parents time and before.


In a nutshell, I treated others badly as a consequence and reaped a whirlwind of ill myself.

Life invites us and sometimes forces us to confront the big questions.

[mietla]

Originally posted by Boroda

Looks like I got into the middle of the 30-years crisis when I am 34. Hoped I avoided it, but the bloody anatomy, hormones, and other bio-chemistry is stronger then my mind. The worst thing is that I can't control myself, a horrible feeling for me, who always tries to keep behaving according to reason, not feelings. This time I really fail.

c'mon Boroda, you are a Soviet man. Just think "What would Stalin do"


I regret we haven't met in person at Alex's wedding. Maybe the next time.

[Xasthur]

I'm not sure mass-murder is the answer to a mid-life crisis...... However, I could be mistaken.

[Halo]

Just keep breathing and walking one step at a time, Boroda.  Sorry the vodka apparently has you.  Isn't that a cliche, Russians and vodka?  But every nation has its own age crisis and booze combination.  Nothing unique about that.

Maybe the most important thing I found over the years is DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP.  It's okay to be introspective, do some self analysis, rethink goals and situations, but do NOT get down on yourself.

I always thought I was very strong but one time I made the mistake of getting in a funk to the point where my body said, "Okay, smart ass, you think you can just keep going negative with me?  Well, you can't.  I quit.  Go take your mind elsewhere.  You're not taking me for granted any more."

What a mean body.  

I got the message though.  I'm still amazed that simply thinking negative too much can literally make you sick.  It sure did me.

I climbed out of the funk by making myself think more positively, choosing a healthier diet, exercising, and recultivating a good sense of humor.  So much of life is absurd, and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it.  Relax and enjoy what we have, because life really is a miracle and it takes nothing more than watching any insect or closely examining any plant to realize that.

As others have said, it seems the best way past alcohol is to give it up totally.  But how do we reconcile that with current wisdom that one or even two drinks a day probably are good for men?

So amend that.  ONE drink.  Glass of red wine is excellent.  Maybe two drinks.  But no more.  Can you do that.? Bet you would be much happier.  And healthier.

And, no joke, actively seek and watch comedies or read humor.  Healthy laughter is a huge health and attitude aid.  

Hang in there.  Life is what happens when we were preparing for something else.  Ah, I think I botched that quote, but close enough.

[Hawco]

Should try Lexapro and Xanax, mix that with a decent sleeping pill and that will keep you of the booze, in other words it will help you to pull yourself together, what got you like this?
There's a lot of people still around in their 40's who have been through a whole  stack of s*** and are still going strong.
You should go and find a homeless vet to talk to or something like that, very quickly you will realize that you don't have it nearly as bad as them and hopefully give you a new perspective on things.

[Xargos]

I'm forty and well medicated.

[Ripsnort]

I had a psych teacher in college that once summarized one  portion of Maslow's theory by stating "When you hit your 30's, you have a desire to make your mark on this Earth, some go save the whales, some have babies."

Sounds like you've reached that point, Boroda.  The rest is up to you.  You won't be happy until you do something different, whether it be a hobby, job, or go back to school.  Don't procrastinate.

[Xasthur]

Originally posted by Hawco
Should try Lexapro and Xanax, mix that with a decent sleeping pill and that will keep you of the booze,

Substituting one addiction for another solves nothing.

Sleeping pills are just as addictive as alcohol. If anything, sleeping pills feel better than alcohol, which is bad if you're trying to come off an addiction as it is.

So do yourself a favour and stay away from them if you have trouble controling addictions and impulses or are self-destructive even in a '**** it, i'll smoke and drink, I don't care' state.

I suspect that I will go through exactly the same thing when i get there, so if you find something that works for you.... let me know.

Stick with it, mate. Get yourself off on a holiday to a sunny place (the sun truly effects moods and you live in a cold and dark country, so get out of there for a bit and get some sun) or perhaps try some Vitamin D (i'm pretty sure that's the one).

[Boroda]

Originally posted by Xasthur
Lazs2 is right about the alcohol having depressing effects. Drinking enough to make you feel **** in the morning really makes it hard to be enthusiastic about being alive when you wake up.

2 or 3 beers with a cigarette or two is fine to wind down with, but once you start to cross the 10+ drink barrier every night (not hard to do with spirits) you'll notics a significant downturn in your attitude toward life.

I absolutely loved that Australian habit of printing drink number on labels.

10+ drinks = 120+ml of pure alcohol, like 300ml of vodka! I afford to consume such quantities only on special occasion. I usually have 3 ordinary (lite) beers or 2 strong...

BTW I think my condition was provoked by spending October and November in AU, just to come to Moscow and see that winter isn't there yet, winter began only in late-January instead of usual late-October, and now in late-March we have summer weather, +20 I think today, like in late-May. Great time for psychos. And then one girl triggered it and knocked me out of the usual rail-way...