Just keep breathing and walking one step at a time, Boroda. Sorry the vodka apparently has you. Isn't that a cliche, Russians and vodka? But every nation has its own age crisis and booze combination. Nothing unique about that.
Maybe the most important thing I found over the years is DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP. It's okay to be introspective, do some self analysis, rethink goals and situations, but do NOT get down on yourself.
I always thought I was very strong but one time I made the mistake of getting in a funk to the point where my body said, "Okay, smart ass, you think you can just keep going negative with me? Well, you can't. I quit. Go take your mind elsewhere. You're not taking me for granted any more."
What a mean body.
I got the message though. I'm still amazed that simply thinking negative too much can literally make you sick. It sure did me.
I climbed out of the funk by making myself think more positively, choosing a healthier diet, exercising, and recultivating a good sense of humor. So much of life is absurd, and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. Relax and enjoy what we have, because life really is a miracle and it takes nothing more than watching any insect or closely examining any plant to realize that.
As others have said, it seems the best way past alcohol is to give it up totally. But how do we reconcile that with current wisdom that one or even two drinks a day probably are good for men?
So amend that. ONE drink. Glass of red wine is excellent. Maybe two drinks. But no more. Can you do that.? Bet you would be much happier. And healthier.
And, no joke, actively seek and watch comedies or read humor. Healthy laughter is a huge health and attitude aid.
Hang in there. Life is what happens when we were preparing for something else. Ah, I think I botched that quote, but close enough.