I need a good laugh...

[DarkS1ar]

Well hope this helps

Life outside Tank Town
if you havn't seen it already

[Flame 2 the boy]

Originally posted by Gianlupo
Thank you, gents, thank you so much.

You're helping me a lot in a bad day.

i know what that can be like im having oneof those days myself ....so here goes


A manwalks into the barbershop andasks how long is the wait for a haircut...the barber says 1 hour, the guy says great and leaves

The next day the same guy comes in and asks the same question and the barber says itll be about 45 min. the guys says good and leaves

The day after that the same guy comes in and asks how long it will take and the barber says 30 min. the guy says ok and leaves..

The barber decides to ask his freind to follow the man to figure out where he keeps going. Suddenly the freind rushes into the barber shop about 30 min later with an awkward look on his face......he said i dont know how to tell you this but everyday after that fellow left here....

He went to your house to see your wife. :(

[eh]

A teacher in a Canadian school announces that it's time for students to tell the class a little bit about their fathers. She calls on Johnny.

Johnny says: "My dad bartends at a gay bar and goes out into the alleyway to have sex with men for money."

Dead silence in the classroom. The teacher quickly gives assignments to the other children, then, when they are busy, draws Johnny aside and says: "Johnny, your father doesn't REALLY do that, does he?".

Johnny replies: "Naw. He really plays hockey for the Toronto Maple Leafs. I just didn't want to be embarassed in front of the class"

[CHECKERS]

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her
horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

"Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have
to issue you a warning. You have a broken
reflector on your buggy."

"Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I
get home."

"That's fine.  Another thing, ma'am. I don't like
the way that one rein loops across the horse's
back and around one of his balls. I consider that
animal abuse. That's cruelty to animals. Have
your husband take care of that right away!"

Later that day, the lady is home telling her
husband about her encounter with the cop.

"Well, dear, what exactly did he say?"

"He said the reflector is broken."

"I can fix that in two minutes. What else?"

"I'm not sure, Jacob...something about the
emergency brake..."

   Regards...

   Bob/CHECKERS

[Furball]

Why are you sad Gianlupo?

[Krusty]

They outlawed spinach pie?

[Vudak]

Oh man there's some good ones in this thread

Cheer up, Gian! "Every day is good if it's spent above ground."

(Had Chinese food today )

[HomeBoy]

Humor from my neck of the woods...

A Tennessee family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a rather large building. They were amazed by everything they saw -- especially the "magic machine" at one end of the lobby.

The boy asked, "What's this, Paw?" The father responded, "Son I ain't never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is!"

While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed interest, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small lighted room with no windows. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch as the circles lit up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous 24-year-old woman stepped out.

The father turned to his son and said, "Go git yer Maw."

[BaldEagl]

What do the Starship Enterprise and a roll of toilet paper have in common?

They're both headed for Uranus to wipe out the Klingons.

[Roscoroo]

There were Five country churches in a small TEXAS town:

The Presbyterian Church , the Baptist Church , the Methodist Church, the
Catholic Church and the Jewish Synagogue.

Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do
about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they
Determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they
shouldn't interfere with God's divine will..

In The BAPTIST CHURCH the squirrels had taken up habitation in the
baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery
and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there
were twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a
position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the
Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days
later, the squirrels were back.

But -- The Catholic CHURCH came up with the best and most effective
solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of
the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter

Not much was heard about THE JEWISH SYNAGOGUE, but they took one
squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision.....  they
haven't seen a squirrel on the property since...

[Dichotomy]

A guy walks into a bar noticeably upset and orders a shot of tequila and a beer.  The bartender serves him take the shot and slowly drink the beer.  In 5 minutes he orders another round of tequila and another beer.  

The bartender finally has to ask

"Hey pal something bothering you?"
"Yes but it's pretty painful to talk about"
"Well sometimes talking helps too"
"Ya *sigh* you're right.  I came home early from work today and caught my wife in bed with my best friend"
"THATS TERRIBLE... what did you do"
"Well what anybody would do I threw her out and told her to stay out of my life forever"
"Well that's understandable, what did you do to your best friend"
"Oh I told him to leave with her... *sigh* man I'm going to miss that dog"

[Gianlupo]

Originally posted by Furball
Why are you sad Gianlupo?

Nothing without remedy, Furball, but, right now, I'm feeling really blue. Thanks to you all, fellow pilots, this is a wonderful community, thanks for the jokes and links, I've really appreciated both.

<<>>

[Krusty]

Much like Al Gore on the Internet, I take full credit for making Gian feel a little better, even though I had nothing to do with it...

[SuperDud]

I got hit by a dumbtruck once:(

[Krusty]

Ironically, I bet it "smarted"....