Author Topic: I need a good laugh...  (Read 1636 times)

Offline culero

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« Reply #30 on: April 26, 2007, 05:57:22 PM »
My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce
started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final,
later that same year.

Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was
piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern
Tennessee because of bad weather. Thank God our kids were with me at the
Beach House this weekend.

The NTSB issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: Judy was flying
a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions
while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating) rating.

The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on
board. No one on the ground was injured.

Photograph below was taken at the scene show the extent of damage to her
aircraft.

She was very lucky.














“Before we're done with them, the Japanese language will be spoken only in Hell!” - Adm. William F. "Bull" Halsey

Offline Gianlupo

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« Reply #31 on: April 26, 2007, 06:03:16 PM »
Lol, culero! :)

Krusty, I give you full credit for my partial recovery, let me know when you'll candidate yourself to presidential vote! :D

Superdud.... I understand many things now.... :noid
Live to fly, fly to live!

Offline SkyRock

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« Reply #32 on: April 26, 2007, 06:04:59 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by culero
My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce
started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final,
later that same year.

Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was
piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern
Tennessee because of bad weather. Thank God our kids were with me at the
Beach House this weekend.

The NTSB issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: Judy was flying
a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions
while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating) rating.

The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on
board. No one on the ground was injured.

Photograph below was taken at the scene show the extent of damage to her
aircraft.

She was very lucky.















:rofl :lol :rofl :eek:

Triton28 - "...his stats suggest he has a healthy combination of suck and sissy!"

Offline Flame 2 the boy

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« Reply #33 on: April 26, 2007, 06:30:17 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by BaldEagl
What do the Starship Enterprise and a roll of toilet paper have in common?

They're both headed for Uranus to wipe out the Klingons.


i thought it was that they go where noman has gone before

Offline Spikes

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« Reply #34 on: April 26, 2007, 06:42:41 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Oldman731
The CIA had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background check, interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists .... Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."

The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks", she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."


ROFLMFAO :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
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Offline BaldEagl

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« Reply #35 on: April 26, 2007, 07:01:05 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Krusty
Ironically, I bet it "smarted"....


:rofl :rofl :rofl

That one made my day :lol
I edit a lot of my posts.  Get used to it.

Offline RTR

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« Reply #36 on: April 26, 2007, 09:58:28 PM »
A grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender says " Hey!  a grasshopper!  we have a drink named after you".

The grasshopper says "What, you have a drink named Henry?"

RTR
The Damned

Offline Emu

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« Reply #37 on: April 26, 2007, 10:05:26 PM »

Offline wrag

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« Reply #38 on: April 27, 2007, 01:32:12 AM »
"Late again," the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy. "It ain't my fault," Miss Crabtree. "You can blame this on my Daddy. The reason I'm three hours late is Daddy sleeps naked!"

Now Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for thirty-some-odd years. So she asked little Sammy what he meant by that, despite her mounting fears. Full of mischief, little Sammy and trouble were old friends, but he always told the truth.

"You see, Miss Crabtree, at the ranch we got this here coyote. The last few nights he done et six hens and killed Ma's best milk goat. And last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his gun and said to Ma, "That coyote's back again, I'm a gonna git him!'"

'Stay back, he yelled to all us kids!" He was naked as a jaybird, no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop. Then he stuck that double barrel through the window of the coop. As he stared into the darkness, with coyotes on his mind, our old hound dog Zeke had woke up and come sneakin' up behind Daddy. Then we all looked on plumb helpless old Zeke stuck that cold nose in Daddy's behind!

"Miss Crabtree, we been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin'!"
It's been said we have three brains, one cobbled on top of the next. The stem is first, the reptilian brain; then the mammalian cerebellum; finally the over developed cerebral cortex.  They don't work together in awfully good harmony - hence ax murders, mobs, and socialism.

Offline wrag

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« Reply #39 on: April 27, 2007, 01:32:57 AM »
First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet School were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In Vet Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.

For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow and dug around. He then withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.

"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."
It's been said we have three brains, one cobbled on top of the next. The stem is first, the reptilian brain; then the mammalian cerebellum; finally the over developed cerebral cortex.  They don't work together in awfully good harmony - hence ax murders, mobs, and socialism.

Offline 1K3

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« Reply #40 on: April 27, 2007, 02:11:28 AM »
This is a challenge to everyone.

English Lesson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Oo0aFG1TbQ

Offline 1K3

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« Reply #41 on: April 27, 2007, 02:31:29 AM »
EXTENDED English lesson
(members only :) )

Offline stegor

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« Reply #42 on: April 27, 2007, 02:56:50 AM »
Nibbio
4 Stormo C.T. "F. Baracca"


Offline Gianlupo

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« Reply #43 on: April 27, 2007, 03:51:07 AM »
Ciao Nibbio, grazie! :)

Veramente incredibili quei soggettoni! E poi il link con Giurato era proprio l a portata di mano.... :D

Translation:
Hi Nibbio, thank you!

Really weird people there! And the link with Giurato's video was right there, at a stone's throw....
Live to fly, fly to live!

Offline Krusty

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« Reply #44 on: April 27, 2007, 08:30:19 AM »
Gianlupo, I might have to run for Prime Minister in Italy! Just so I can petition to ban all spinach pies!

Is the title President, Prime Minister, or something else? Does one need to be a native-born Italian?

Oh, and do the women there flock to men of power?