Just this week I wrote and posted this highly informative article to help dialup hell residence players on a racing site that I visit.
Maybe it will help here too.
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DialUp Hell And How To Improve PC Performance Online
Two of the most basic steps to improve online performance are commonly overlooked by those of us stuck in dialup hell. I have researched this indepth and am now willing to pass my vast knowledge on to you, the average dialup Noob.
Let`s get right to it.
#1. Selecting , maintaining and improving performance with the right choice of tin cans.
Not all tin cans are equal my friends. That`s right dialup Quaker, you can`t be too picky when it comes to making a choice in the tin can area. Most people are under the impression that a tin can is a tin can.
When making your selection at the grocery store for components to set up your gamers dialup system go with the best. Do not scrimp. The simple secret you want to know, heh Noob? Well, here it is. DEL MONTE IS YOUR FRIEND!!!
Avoid such brands as Price Saver , Save A Lot and Beans R Us. Scrimping here will catch up with you later. Only Del Monte for the serious gamer.
I would also suggest to go with the bean cans for added benefits. Some of the bean oil residue is absorbed into the tin can and retards rusting to a certain extent. Del Monte tomato juice cans can be used if beans are not available to you at the moment, but the red ring around your ear will get you many strange looks if you use voice communications regularly in game play.
Maintaining your cans and peak performance is achieved by regularly buffing with #00 steel wool. Once a week will keep you up to speed unless you are in an extremely high humidity area.
#2. Kite String Selection And Peak Performance Issues.
COTTON. Simple enough Pong Freak?
Do not be tempted into kite string adds which tout the marvel of fiber blends. You deserve the best. Only 100% cotton will do for the serious gamer.
The best can be had only at top notch PC supply stores such as Wal Mart, unless, of course if you happen to live in the south where you are fortunate enough to have local access to the Kite Strang Depot chain stores.
Wax....Wax.....Wax. I can`t stress how important this procedure is to the serious gamer. Wax it good to begin with and set up a serious waxing schedule to insure top standards.
Wax selection is nearly as important as string choice itself. The choices seem mind boggling. Floor wax , Auto wax ,Bees wax , ear wax.........wax on , wax off. Forget them my friend. So .......what is the secret Oh highest of Clan Masters you ask.
Mustache Wax my little World Of Warcraft addicted buddies. There it is. The most highly guarded secret used by top of the line, professional dialup gamers. I give it to you freely and with much joy. It is the most moisture protection that you can buy for your well selected kite string. Use it wisely my friends, but use it indeed for peak performance. Not only will it make you the envy of your server , but it also has the added bonus of keeping you looking super cool in those image enhanced PMs when communicating with that hot 15 year old chick that you have had your eye on.
Well now you have the information and the secrets of dialup hell gaming. Get in gear Skippy and make your online life shine.
Next week`s article will deal with the subject "How To Win Flame Wars And Influence People For Profit
